This is part 3 in a 3 part series. Check out part 1 and part 2 if you haven’t already.
Now that we’ve covered many of the things that could be potential pitfalls early on in the relationship, let’s talk about a few things that will build a relationship that will last a lifetime. These are the icing on the cake, the roof on the house. I hope you’ll give each of these points serious consideration when preparing for marriage.
Stay Fit For Your Partner: If either of you starts to let yourself go, it could be detrimental to your relationship. Avoid any crushed feelings or dips in your sex life and health by taking the time to stay fit. Your partner will show his/her appreciation.
Start traditions: Traditions are the things that make history in marriages. For instance, “Naked Saturdays” (ok, I just made that up, but it sounds like lots of fun). Create little traditions between you and your partner to spicen up the routine and/or keep things interesting.
Never, ever just say no: There is nothing that closes the lines of communication or sharing like a flat, lonely “NO.” Don’t EVER do it. If there is any reason to say no to anyone, start of with an explanation. No is one of those things that immediately isolates you from a person. Do your best to stay away from it.
Believe in his/her capabilities: People feel a sense of identity in what they think they are good at. Take that away from them and you’re telling them that they aren’t who they like to think they are. It can be crushing on their ego, which will be devastating on your marriage. Always believe in him/her.
Affirm his Accomplishments: Men don’t just like to be patted on the back, we require it. Compliment us as often as is relevant. Don’t just tell him he’s handsome. Tell him he’s good at something he actually works at, like his job, or a hobby. When it’s something he has control over, it means so much more.
Accept Him/Her: People get hurt and angered when their partners try to change them. Realize you can only change yourself and move forward. Leave him/her alone.
Discuss outside friendships: Some people are ok with cross-gender friendships, and others aren’t. Talk about this. Be prepared to make a sacrifice. Keep an open mind. Just try your best.
Keep your intimate details private: There is nothing that makes a spouse feel disrespected or uncared for like sharing intimate details of your relationship with someone else. Many times when people are having a rough time in their marriage, they seek an outside person of the same gender as their spouse to get a man’s perspective, or a woman’s perspective if you’re a guy. DON’T EVER DO THIS. It’s playing with fire!
Always assume the best: He looks like he’s flirting. She dresses in a way you think is inappropriate. Sometimes your partner will do things that you don’t like/approve of. Instead of assuming their motive is exactly what you think or what it looks like, assume the best. Communicate with him/her about how it made you feel, instead of what you think it was. This will allow him/her to explain themselves without feeling threatened.
I know we’ve covered a lot throughout this series, but marriage isn’t like choosing your next meal or even buying your next car. Marriage is choosing your future. It takes a lot of thought and consideration. It takes learning about yourself, and learning about others. It takes sacrifice. It requires work, even when the rest of life is getting in the way. Marriage can be one of the most amazing parts of life if it is allowed to mature properly, with both parties doing there part. I’m getting married in 33 days, and with the points that I’ve outlined here, and some quiet time to really ponder them, I know I’ll be ready.
Wish me luck as I take the plunge…
