Twenties Life

Appalled. Outraged. Sick. Who could write something like this? Do guys really follow what they read in this stupid magazine? UGH!

These thoughts were steaming through my head as I was reading the February issue of Maxim magazine. For those of you who do not know, Maxim magazine is like the Cosmopolitan magazine for women, filled with sex secrets, clothes secrets, and dirty laundry. Why was I reading Maxim you ask? I saw on the cover of the magazine, “Sex: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too.” (Of course I like cake so I kept reading) Then as I kept reading trying to find the cake part, the article continued with “How to cheat and not get caught” Wait a minute…wait a minute. There is no cake in this!?

So I shake my head in disbelief, yet somehow keep reading. The article can be found here http://www.maxim.com/humor/stupid-fun/87491/sex-have-your-cake-eat-it-too.html. The article uses Tiger Woods’ situation to highlight how men should cheat on their spouse/girlfriends and not get caught. The buffer the article by saying that it is written by experts, women! Huh? Women tell men on how to cheat on women? So, enraged, I read as Maxim gives out tips by women to tell men how to cheat such as changing the mistress’ name in the cell phone to a dude’s name so that it will show up as a guy when she calling him.

Of course I immediately rush to ask my guy friends “Do you believe this crap? How could Maxim publish this? Shouldn’t we be encouraging men, women everyone to be together? Shouldn’t we be teaching people that cheating is not okay and should not be taking lightly?” The response has been 50/50, with a few “calm down Nadias” in there. However, I can’t help but wonder what has happened to the sanctity of marriage? Much more people are not getting married at 18 anymore. Quite a few people are waiting to get married, but yet it does not seem like that waiting makes one more mature to enter into marriage. Have I been so blinded and in a bubble to not realize that maybe cheating has always existed and what was once taboo is now becoming a social norm?

Personally I take the position that one, I haven’t been so oblivious to cheating, but like most try to skirt it as an issue that doesn’t exist and two, cheating should and forever be taboo.  However, there are others who would disagree with me and that’s okay, just make sure I don’t date you.

Marriage should not be taken lightly. Not only are emotions involved but a lot of time and resources are as well. Prime time for getting married or entering into a serious relationship tends to occur during your twenties. However, this age also presents a rough time personally as many go through life changes such as school career changes.  When two people commit it often means that instead of two separate lives they have to basically live as one. Each others decisions affect another. That leads to disagreements or a shake up in relationships. Sometimes people adapt and sometimes they don’t. When people don’t agree however, I do not think that should be the sign for a woman or a man to check out what’s on the other side while still being committed. A divorce and breakup are costly. Many people use the cost to deter them from getting a divorce yet still choose to stray. I firmly believe that if you are not mature enough to maintain a monogamous relationship, then you shouldn’t be in one, and you definitely should not be taking anything to the next level. If you are so immature that you have to change stuff in your cell phone to conceal your cheating, you are not ready to be in any relationship.

Yes, I know, sometimes shit happens. But does that mean you can do what you want? Does that mean you can continue doing what you are doing without letting the other person know? You want cake? You want to eat it too? Then bake your own damn cake. Don’t go tasting other cake that doesn’t belong to you. No licking the frosting either.

You think you won’t get caught?  Maybe. However, what if you do? For both men and women, do you think if you follow silly tips in a magazine that they are fool proof? Heck no. One way or another, karma is a bitch and will find you. Maybe you knock up the chick you are cheating on, maybe the guy you are cheating on starts cheating on you. What then? Not so fun anymore when your feelings get hurt.

I could care less about Tiger Woods, former President Bill Clinton, and the like.  What they do in their personal lives is really none of my business. What is my business, however, are things that glorify and compromise the sanctity of a monogamous relationship and marriage are flourished and encouraged? It becomes a problem because now the dating pool is tainted. Not like it was not tainted before, but now, it’s looking so acceptable to cheat and be unfaithful. We the single people have much more to worry about than what our boyfriends/girlfriends are texting, calling, and hooking up with on Facebook.

My advice to magazines like Maxim and Cosmo: Focus on what really matters. Write an article about being faithful and making the best of your relationship with the person you are supposed to be in a relationship with. The whole purpose of marriage is for two people to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives. A ring is a symbol of your love; it has no beginning and has it no end. There is no room in that circle for diversion.

There will always be many more people who will cheat and many more people who will apologize for what they have done. It won’t end. Hopefully though, it will never come to a time where cheating becomes a social norm and not be an acceptable part of a relationship. I want my cake all to myself.