Honesty is always the best policy, we all know that right? Well, maybe. Maybe not.
Let’s paint the picture here, shall we? You’re in a relationship with a person. You’ve been with them for 5 years, which I think we can all agree denotes a long-term relationship. You aren’t living together, but you intend that this is the one, this is the relationship you plan on being in for the rest of your days.
Now here’s where things get interesting:
Do you consider it important or necessary to disclose everything that happens in your life to the other person? For you, is it necessary to share everything with that person?
Let’s throw out a couple of examples… Don’t laugh, these are serious questions.
- You watch porn, and he/she doesn’t know.
- Another friend shares a secret with you, that he’s cheated on his wife (who is your partner’s friend).
- A coworker makes passes at you constantly.
- You plan on going to lunch with two friends (one of the same sex and one of the opposite), but one backs out, and you’re left alone with a friend of the opposite sex.
- You have magazine subscriptions that he/she might not approve of (not porn, just your average men’s/women’s lifestyle magazine).
- He/She has never asked how many partners (sexually or otherwise) you’ve had prior to him/her. Do you just come out with it?
- He/she is gaining a little weight, or has managed to not take care of themselves as well lately (sharing an opinion that may be hurtful).
- Do you tell your partner what you really think about his/her parents?
- Your family is very conservative and your partner sometimes gets a little tipsy. Do you share with her your thought that she might ease up on the champagne tonight and risk hurting her feelings, or do you grit your teeth and tread through?
- He/She asks “Am I prettier/more-handsome/bigger/stronger/sexier/better-in-bed than your ex’s?”
- “Do you ever think about him/her?”
I ask these questions not to try to change your mind, and also not to reaffirm your position. I designed these questions with a simple goal, to provoke thought.
Sometimes we get so attached to our own beliefs, we think that we know exactly how to run the game. We sometimes forget how little we’ve actually been exposed to. We forget that there are people everywhere who do things differently than us and some of them are more successful with their methods than we are, or some are happier.
At the end of the day, I think we all want happiness, love, trust, and security in our relationships. We want to share all that is good, and protect our partner from all that is bad. But what about when honesty is the causer of pain? What do we do then?
So I ask you this, sir/madam: Is honesty ALWAYS the best policy?
Finally, I’m going to put the age-old question to rest: No those pants don’t make your butt look big, your butt makes your butt look big, and that’s just the way I like it!
