Hello readers of TwentiesLife! Stefan here, from StudySuccessful.com. I am Dutch. No I am not from Amsterdam, I’m from another place in the Netherlands, you probably only know Amsterdam because of the Red Light District and smoking marijuana.. I don’t blame you, we have some crazy rules here in our little country, but you know what, I am standing behind them, all of them.

Dutch rules on taboo topics
In The Netherlands a lot of things are legal which are illegal in almost every other country in the world, why is that? Are we just a bunch of pot-smoking douchebags who like to go to the red light district? Or are we one of the most progressive state in the world? I think the last one. I will discuss several topics, which are legal here and illegal over there (which is around every other country in the world). This will be: smoking weed, prostitution and abortion. Quick note: I am an atheist, I think you should know that. Put your clog on, check if the windmill is still turning and get a piece of cheese, you are about to experience Dutch knowledge.

Smoking weed
What is America doing at this point, marijuana is illegal (except the ‘medical use‘) and there is a big ‘War on drugs’ thing going on. But how is it possible that I still see a lot of green sticks at a tv show like Entourage? How is it possible that if there is put in that much money, the drug use still didn’t stop or even decrease? And why is it still one of the biggest problems America face? I believe that is because prohibition is never an answer. In the early 1920′s they’ve tried the same thing with booze and the mafia has grown big because of the bootlegging. Drug mafia is nowadays one of the richest crime sectors in the world and that is because everything is illegal. Prohibition does not takes away the curiosity of experiencing something like smoking weed, nor it is taking away the need. It is only a way to force people to sneak around to smoke something, instead of buying it at a place where you can actually control it.

If somebody who has never been on the earth before is coming to the earth and he has to divide the different ‘drugs’ that exist into ‘hard drugs’ and ‘soft drugs’ (as we know it nowadays), alcohol will definitely be on the hard drug side. But that is legal and something which is not even that bad for you (weed) is illegal.

So here we got my point. I think that if you are legalizing something like soft drugs, you are getting control of it. By legalizing it, there isn’t a big underground scene which is providing marijuana, no street sellers who sell their stuff to young kids. We have ‘coffee shops‘ where you can buy what you want, a place which is controlled in the end by the government, where there is control of the customer, of the addicted. The stuff they are selling is of good quality, no crap added, so stuff that is not that bad for you.

Controlling is better than a big expensive offensive, in my eyes at least. Of course, we (the Dutch) are also against hard drugs, as they are really, really bad for you. But fighting something which you can never win, is probably not a good idea, especially when the need isn’t that big. If you can control the use and the quality of marijuana, it is better to legalize.

Prostitution
This taboo is a tough one. You will never see scenes where women in really short skirts are on the side of the road looking for potential customers in the Netherlands. Over here, prostitution is actually legal. There are houses where you can go for your needs. A good thing? I think so.

Here is the same with the legalization of soft drugs. This is a problem which can cause a lot of trouble and it is hard to prevent these kind of crimes. But now it is about people. If prostitution is illegal, there is a lot of underground work. There will be a need of big organization who will control where is who. There will be different levels of pimps, controlling women who are paid for sex. And that can’t be a good thing, fur-wearing men who are controlling women who have to have sex, right? That is why it is legalized in the Netherlands. I have to be honest here, there are problems every once in a while. Sometimes it turns out that there are under-aged girls who are put out there, but at least we have an idea about the size of the problem. We know what is going on, where. If something isn’t right, the human rights are coming in, houses will be closed and the government will take care of the girls. Ban the oldest profession in the world will be impossible, controlling it won’t.

Abortion
Abortion means ending the life of an unborn child. Ending your pregnancy before it should end. And yes, this is legal in the Netherlands.

There are a lot of rules about this though. You can’t just go to the doctor to get it removed without consultations and time to think. Women who go to the doctor with this request will be forced to think about it.

Why I think this should be illegal is not the everyday arguments you hear all the time. Not about ‘what if it is a rape’ or ‘what if the girl is way too young?’ I think we shouldn’t think about the mom, God or anybody, but we should think about the baby. What is best for the unborn child? What is happening here is a problem of timing. It is not the time for the baby to be there yet. If the mother doesn’t want the baby, if she is not ready, if the father is a rapist who impregnated the mother, this is just not the time for the baby to be there. Selfish? No, not at all. Because if abortion wouldn’t be possible, if the baby will come anyway, there will be nothing but problems. The mother will love the baby anyway, for sure. But what are the future plans? If this woman just could have finished her major, if she is with a father which makes her happy, the future chances of the baby are way bigger than ever before. The baby will have everything he needs, including a loving mother and a loving father. Without abortion? He also has a chance of a good life, but I think a slighter chance.

Is abortion murder? Am I able to just murder an unborn child in order to greater his chance of a good life? No. I don’t think it is murder as the fetus isn’t viable yet. It doesn’t have a mind yet, it isn’t a human being yet.

Concluding thoughts

Well, these opinions are mine. These opinions are shared by a great part of the Dutch population, we think that taboo topics aren’t topics we should forget. These topics are important and while we have these rules, there is a lot of talking about these rules. Are these rules the right ones? Shouldn’t we change the rules? The answer is always no. This country is a country of possibilities, of freedom to choose. What do you think about the Dutch rules? Are we insane? Are we out of our mind? Or are we actually progressive in a way a lot of countries will follow, eventually? Let me know in the comments!

This is a guest post by the Dutch Stefan Knapen who runs the blog StudySuccessful.com, a blog full of study hacks and personal development tips.

When it comes to sex, people from every corner of the world have their own stigmas, morals, beliefs, and in many cases even laws.  There is merit in many or at least some of these beliefs, but some are just bizarre.  You start to wonder what the motivation behind them is.  I’m going to explore a few different ideas that relate to sex and rules.

Sexual Double Standards

This is probably the most prevalent sexual stigma in western civilization today.  It is quite commonly accepted that men will engage in sexual activity before marriage, and frankly they are rewarded socially.  It is seen as some sort of accomplishment.  But when a woman engages in the same amount of sexual activity she is seen as “slutty” or “whorish.”  Why is this?

I have a crazy theory.  In our society women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex.  They are especially not supposed to enjoy sex outside of marriage.  Women are supposed to engage in sex only to please men.  This is why you’ll find that both men and women condemn a woman of “loose morals” while only (some) women will condemn a man of the same actions (although this is also evidence that women judge each other more harshly than men do, but that’s a topic for another day).  Our patriarchal society has deemed it appropriate, (i can only assume because of a man’s insecurity), for men to engage in as much sexual activity as they possibly can, while women are meant to be selective and only have sex under certain constraints.

Sexual Stigmas

There are way too many stigmas here to possibly try and explore them all, but a few stick out in my mind, so I’d like to explore them.  First off, sex without emotional and/or physical commitment.  It has been made appropriate (whether by religion, morals, or whatever) that in order to not be a whore, one must be in some sort of committed and faithful relationship.  Why is this?  What difference does it make if I say I love you before I have sex with you?  Why does me not having sex with anyone else make it ok for me to have sex with you?  50 years ago the stigma was sex outside of marriage, but something changed.  Had it been the same as before, I might consider that it had something to do with religion or at least the sanctity of marriage, but that is obviously not the case.  So tell me, why is it important to be committed to a person before sexual activity is deemed appropriate?

Sexual Orientations.  Some people are gay.  Some are straight.  Some are bisexual.  Some are transsexual.  Some are trans-gender.  Some are confused.  Some are sure.  Some are just pleasure seekers.  Some are filling a void.  But here’s my question for you: why do you care?  How does any of this affect you?  What makes you so arrogant that you think you know better, or that somehow by being who and what you are you have the right to tell anyone how to live his or her life?  Assuming that these people aren’t hurting anyone, what gives you the right to oppress them with your beliefs?  Please, do tell…

Sexual Fetishes. Similar to different orientations, some people are into different sexual fetishes.  You might argue that they are oppressing others or “crossing the line,” but I think we both know that there is no line.  What you find degrading, someone else might find liberating.  What you find to be immoral, someone else might find exhilarating.  Again, assuming that nobody is being hurt (or engaging in an activity that they do not want to), what right do you have to try and control or limit, or even judge silently, their actions?  Remember that religion is not an arguing point, because you cannot force YOUR religion on someone who doesn’t believe the same.

I might be Muslim, Christian, or Jewish, but in America where there is no religious law, what right do I have to express or oppress my views on others?

Sexual Legislation

In some countries it’s illegal to be gay.  In some countries sodomy is illegal.  There are places where it is illegal to be in possession of a sex toy.  There are places where group sex is illegal.  Maybe you can help me understand this.  Why, where, and how would it be a good idea for a country to impose legislation on the sexual lives of it’s citizens?

Here’s an example I know of personally.  In Saudi Arabia it is illegal to be a homosexual.  The reasoning for this is that Saudi Arabia is a country of Islamic law, and it is forbidden in Islam to be homosexual.  As an American, I would wish that all countries had the freedoms that I have, but I know that this isn’t possible.  Or maybe it isn’t wanted by everyone else in the world.  What do you think?

I think we often take on the beliefs of our parents and elders unknowingly, and we never stop to question them.  But in the society we live in today, we need to question.  Because questioning leads to knowledge, and knowledge leads to understanding and appreciation.  I might not be gay, but I appreciate a persons right to live how they feel fit, so long as nobody else’s rights are infringed upon.  Do you feel the same?  Why or why not?

I’ve come up with an idea that I think will rock on TwentiesLife.  I would like to have writers talk about all of the taboo topics that twenty-somethings face in real life.  I mean the big ones.  Everything from abortion to religion to politics to various sexual topics.  And not only do I want to explore these ideas, but I want opinions.  People with strong opinions always inspire debate and things often get heated.  And that’s just what we need here at TwentiesLife, a place for people to talk about their passions, their beliefs, and their ideas.

Now this is obviously going to get ugly.  But life isn’t always pretty.  And as long as we can be civil and stay on topic, rather than resorting to petty name calling and insults, I think TwentiesLife is going to be a great medium for some hardcore debating on Taboo Topics.

So look forward to some hot opinions, in-debt debate, and mind blowing perspectives.  It’s all coming soon!