Twenties Life

A couple of years ago, while in college, I wrote this article.  I published it at a college development website I was working on.  But it’s so important that I think it bears repeating.  And no matter how the times change, the principals are still the same.  I hope you’ll read it carefully and really think about it.  It could change the way you look for a mate.

There is no one true way to find the person of your dreams.  No person, book, or secret will give you 100% success in this area of life, because let’s face it, love isn’t a science.  Love is a living being in itself, and as we all know, living things can sometimes be rather unpredictable.  So I can’t guarantee that by following my tips here you will find the mate of your life.  If I could, I’d be rich, and you’d all be giving me your money.  Since you aren’t, you’ll have to read these tips and hope that they aid in the success of your future romance.

Preface

First off, and this is going to be a huge shocker to most of you twenty-somethings, stop thinking you are going to find the love of your life in a bar/club/(insert trashy drunken scene here).  The fact is that if you find someone who could be the man/woman of your dreams here, they were probably the man/woman of someone else’s dreams last weekend.  And there is a good chance they will be the man/woman of someone else’s dreams next weekend.  Do yourself a favor and look in places where the person you meet will remember your name tomorrow.

Meet People for the sake of Meeting People

I’ve noticed it takes young adults a long time to realize that sometimes it’s ok to meet someone without having a preset agenda.  You don’t have to be looking for a best friend/drinking buddy/ man of your dreams…  It’s ok to just meet, hang out, enjoy yourself without the weight of wondering what this is or where it’s going.

Also, try to spend more time with friends that aren’t friends with the rest of your friends.  In doing this you will generally meet more new people, since you will meet their friends, which are not yet your friends.  Many times we fall into the same routine, hang out with the same 3-6 people, and never meet anyone new.  And then we complain about not meeting the right girl.  It’s no wonder…

People who neglect this integral step often find that they continuously enter relationships, which they realize later, just aren’t working for them.  And they do this over and over.  If only they had enough experiences with enough different people to have a better understanding of what they wanted.  All of those heartbreaks could have been avoided.

Complement Everyone

Every person I’ve ever met enjoys a good compliment.  We all know a good compliment when we get one;  “Your hair looks fantastic” when you just got it done, “That shirt makes you look big” when you’ve been working out.  A good compliment just feels good.  And everyone remembers the guy/girl that makes them feel good.  Always be that person and it can only lead to good things.

Be Brave

Though it may not be on everyone’s list of sexiest characteristics, it definitely is one of the most important ones.  People find a person of confidence absolutely irresistible.  A confident suitor is the equivalent of the strongest, fastest lion in the jungle.  They never go hungry, and they get all of the lionesses.  Be the lion.

Be Smart with Your Emotions

It sounds silly just typing that title.  But you have to understand the power of emotions before you start using them.  Think about a big powerful machine, like a car.  You don’t just get behind the steering wheel and start going.  You have to understand the power, skills required, and responsibilities associated with operating a car.  Then and only then can you be considered safe to operate such a powerful machine.  Emotions are the same way.  If you haven’t learned to control and use your emotions beneficially, you aren’t yet fit for a relationship.

I’d bet many relationships fail not because the two people couldn’t last, or weren’t in love, but because they were not readily equipped to handle their emotions.  And when you can’t handle your emotions they become terribly destructive.

Avoid Romantic Blinders/ Have Real Expectations

This one is simple, and yet ignored more often than any other tip I have.  If you are a religious person, you probably won’t have a successful marriage with an Atheist.  If you hate sex, you probably won’t get along well with a nymphomaniac.  Why do we psych ourselves into believing that love can conquer all?  It really can’t people.  It just can’t.  Make a list of characteristics that are important for your future husband/wife to have.  Do not enter into a relationship with someone who does not match the characteristics that you think are necessary. You won’t be able to convince them later on, and you don’t have the right to make them change, so save both of you the heartache and just don’t.

Understand Compromise

If you haven’t been in a serious relationship before this will probably be new to you.  So let me be blunt.  Imagine the perfect Man/Woman of your dreams.  Somehow we always imagine that he/she is exactly what we want, does what we want, says what we want.  There is no conflict, no disagreement, no chaos of any kind, right?

Now take that cloud of imagination that is floating above your eager mind and smash it to bits.  This is not a Disney movie.  This is real life.  And to be honest real life is 10 times better than any Disney movie, and also 100 times worse.  If these are your expectations you will probably never be truly happy.  But if you understand that you will have to sacrifice, compromise, and basically give up some of your expectations in order to please the other person, and that you’ve found someone just as willing to do the same for you, you will be happier than those princesses ever dreamed.  Because you will have found someone that isn’t perfect, and probably isn’t even perfect for you.  What you will have found is someone even better.  Someone who is willing and wanting to work hard and make sacrifices to be that person for you, because they love you and want to be all that for you and more.  When you find someone who works to be that person, you will have found a real life, honest to goodness, Princess/Prince Charming.

Don’t Be Lazy

Laziness shows in every aspect of life, from gaining a few pounds to laundry on the floor.  Nothing is more unattractive than a person who doesn’t have it together.  You may not realize it now, but a relationship is much like laundry, if you don’t spend a few minutes routinely taking care of it, it will get worse and worse, and sooner or later it will be too late.  Take care of yourself in every aspect of life.

What makes you interesting?

This question basically decides whether or not your relationship will last past the first date.  For some people, looks may get you to date 2, but most of us want more.  Answer that question, What makes you most interesting? If you don’t have a good answer, you don’t have what he/she wants, so you better get one.

Boys will be boys

This is something that I’m appalled some people still don’t get.  Boys like video games and lifting weights, girls love to shop and (insert stereotypically female trait here).  Don’t try to take that away from him/her.  It’s what they do.  You wouldn’t put a lion on a vegetarian diet, would you?  Let him be him.

Show you care

If I asked your close friends how much you cared for them, would they have a serious answer?  Would they know, or would they be assuming?  Let people know how much you care about them and they will automatically care more about you.  The easiest way to turn an acquaintance into a friend is by having them understand that their friendship is important to you.  And if they know you value a relationship with them, a relationship with you becomes more valuable to them.

Don’t just listen

Contrary to popular belief, being a good listener isn’t that great.  People don’t enjoy friends that listen;  they enjoy friends that listen, understand, respond, communicate, and share.  Believe me, it takes a lot more effort than just hearing them.  Be interested in them.

Be Sexy

A nice girl is ok. A great girl is cool.  A cute girl is awesome.  A sexy girl is irresistible.  Which do you want to be?

Do the little things that make you sexy.  Perfume, lotion, proper grooming, nice clothing, a nice smile, and many more things will boost the SEX factor, which will lead to increased attention from the opposite sex.  Be careful, though, too much sexiness and you’ll find yourself crowded with too many people wanting your sexiness.  Use sexy wisely.

Increase Your Sex Appeal

Quick Tips

1. always smile. people love happy people.
2. ask interesting questions. everyone loves talking about themselves, and interestingly enough they will find you intriguing just by you letting them talk about what makes them interesting.
3. Never be “too available.” people like people who have their own things going on.
4. Be Yourself. Though it’s probably said too often, you’ll find it too hard to keep up the facade, and sooner or later they’ll find out who you really are.
5. Skip the games. I don’t think anyone really enjoys the games that people go through when trying to get into a relationship.  Do yourself a favor, be the person who skips the games.  He/She will greatly appreciate it.
6. Keep High Standards. Don’t let him/her think you are willing to settle, or that you deserve less than you want.  Keep your standards high.  It’s better to be alone than to give yourself to someone who wont appreciate you.
7. Show genuine interest. People love people interested in themselves.
8. Always Improve Yourself. The bums will be scared off by your pro-activeness, and those working to improve themselves will find you irresistible.
9. Surround yourself with great people.  You will be judged by the company you keep.  It may not be ideal, but it’s the truth.
10. Go Where Mr. Perfect will be. If you are looking for a well read person, don’t look in bars and clubs.  Instead check out book stores and book readings, etc…

So what do you do to find the Man or Woman of your dreams?  What tips can you give others to help from making the same mistakes over and over again?  Leave comments and let us know.

Appalled. Outraged. Sick. Who could write something like this? Do guys really follow what they read in this stupid magazine? UGH!

These thoughts were steaming through my head as I was reading the February issue of Maxim magazine. For those of you who do not know, Maxim magazine is like the Cosmopolitan magazine for women, filled with sex secrets, clothes secrets, and dirty laundry. Why was I reading Maxim you ask? I saw on the cover of the magazine, “Sex: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too.” (Of course I like cake so I kept reading) Then as I kept reading trying to find the cake part, the article continued with “How to cheat and not get caught” Wait a minute…wait a minute. There is no cake in this!?

So I shake my head in disbelief, yet somehow keep reading. The article can be found here http://www.maxim.com/humor/stupid-fun/87491/sex-have-your-cake-eat-it-too.html. The article uses Tiger Woods’ situation to highlight how men should cheat on their spouse/girlfriends and not get caught. The buffer the article by saying that it is written by experts, women! Huh? Women tell men on how to cheat on women? So, enraged, I read as Maxim gives out tips by women to tell men how to cheat such as changing the mistress’ name in the cell phone to a dude’s name so that it will show up as a guy when she calling him.

Of course I immediately rush to ask my guy friends “Do you believe this crap? How could Maxim publish this? Shouldn’t we be encouraging men, women everyone to be together? Shouldn’t we be teaching people that cheating is not okay and should not be taking lightly?” The response has been 50/50, with a few “calm down Nadias” in there. However, I can’t help but wonder what has happened to the sanctity of marriage? Much more people are not getting married at 18 anymore. Quite a few people are waiting to get married, but yet it does not seem like that waiting makes one more mature to enter into marriage. Have I been so blinded and in a bubble to not realize that maybe cheating has always existed and what was once taboo is now becoming a social norm?

Personally I take the position that one, I haven’t been so oblivious to cheating, but like most try to skirt it as an issue that doesn’t exist and two, cheating should and forever be taboo.  However, there are others who would disagree with me and that’s okay, just make sure I don’t date you.

Marriage should not be taken lightly. Not only are emotions involved but a lot of time and resources are as well. Prime time for getting married or entering into a serious relationship tends to occur during your twenties. However, this age also presents a rough time personally as many go through life changes such as school career changes.  When two people commit it often means that instead of two separate lives they have to basically live as one. Each others decisions affect another. That leads to disagreements or a shake up in relationships. Sometimes people adapt and sometimes they don’t. When people don’t agree however, I do not think that should be the sign for a woman or a man to check out what’s on the other side while still being committed. A divorce and breakup are costly. Many people use the cost to deter them from getting a divorce yet still choose to stray. I firmly believe that if you are not mature enough to maintain a monogamous relationship, then you shouldn’t be in one, and you definitely should not be taking anything to the next level. If you are so immature that you have to change stuff in your cell phone to conceal your cheating, you are not ready to be in any relationship.

Yes, I know, sometimes shit happens. But does that mean you can do what you want? Does that mean you can continue doing what you are doing without letting the other person know? You want cake? You want to eat it too? Then bake your own damn cake. Don’t go tasting other cake that doesn’t belong to you. No licking the frosting either.

You think you won’t get caught?  Maybe. However, what if you do? For both men and women, do you think if you follow silly tips in a magazine that they are fool proof? Heck no. One way or another, karma is a bitch and will find you. Maybe you knock up the chick you are cheating on, maybe the guy you are cheating on starts cheating on you. What then? Not so fun anymore when your feelings get hurt.

I could care less about Tiger Woods, former President Bill Clinton, and the like.  What they do in their personal lives is really none of my business. What is my business, however, are things that glorify and compromise the sanctity of a monogamous relationship and marriage are flourished and encouraged? It becomes a problem because now the dating pool is tainted. Not like it was not tainted before, but now, it’s looking so acceptable to cheat and be unfaithful. We the single people have much more to worry about than what our boyfriends/girlfriends are texting, calling, and hooking up with on Facebook.

My advice to magazines like Maxim and Cosmo: Focus on what really matters. Write an article about being faithful and making the best of your relationship with the person you are supposed to be in a relationship with. The whole purpose of marriage is for two people to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives. A ring is a symbol of your love; it has no beginning and has it no end. There is no room in that circle for diversion.

There will always be many more people who will cheat and many more people who will apologize for what they have done. It won’t end. Hopefully though, it will never come to a time where cheating becomes a social norm and not be an acceptable part of a relationship. I want my cake all to myself.

You see a gorgeous woman.  Then you look away.  But in the back of your mind something is telling you that you need to take another look.  There is something pulling your attention away from whatever it is you’re doing and magnetically bringing your gaze back to her. That incredible force is Sex Appeal.

They say some are just born with it.  Some guys are born with muscular bodies and ruggedly good looks.  Some women just blossom into curvy, sexual creatures.  Others find that they just weren’t as lucky.  They weren’t dealt the cards of incredible sex appeal.  To those people,  I’m here to tell you that sex appeal isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you develop.  I’m going to teach you some of the best ways to increase your sex appeal, and make you the one that draws sexy stares the opposite sex and envy from your peers.

Hobbies

She loves that he’s the lead singer of a rockband.  He can’t take his eyes off of her when she dances.  Two simple hobbies, singing and dancing, that create that instant force of attraction.  Hobbies are probably the easiest way to increase your sex appeal.  Become really great at any of your hobbies and you’ll find someone who thinks it’s hot.  I talked yesterday about the girl who was really awesome at knitting.  It’s knitting for gosh sake, and yet I still thought it was pretty awesome.  That’s the power of hobbies.

Physique

The first thing we notice about the opposite sex is physique.  You know it and I know it.  If a fella is 26 and already has the makings of a beer belly, ladies knock him down a few points.  This may not be a conscious decision, but facts are facts.  If a woman has a small waist and nice legs, guys will find her more attractive than her less toned friend.  We are biologically inclined to find healthy people more sexually attractive, as a way of ensuring procreation among the human race.  Sorry for going all scientific on you, but the facts don’t lie.  Get in shape and you’ll get more interest from the opposite sex.

Mind & Personality

Though this isn’t as instant as physique, it is important enough to give attention to.  Men and women who ride through life on their good looks never develop a really beautiful mind and personality.  They focus so strongly on their looks that they give no attention to what’s behind the smile.  Work on yourself and he’ll surely notice.  Build that self-esteem and she won’t be able to help herself around you.

Imperfect Perfection

Imperfection is human.  So many people strive to be the perfect image of beauty in their head.  This isn’t real.  The image isn’t real, and the idea that you could ever replicate it isn’t real.  Instead of trying to be the next Barbie (or ken) doll, focus on the good things you already have.  If you have a great smile, let it loose as often as possible.  If you have great legs, don’t lock em up in wide leg jeans.  Use your natural talents and create your own imperfect perfection.

Clothing

I spent a good part of my younger life wearing whatever was clean, picking up wrinkly shirts off the ground and just going with um.  Needless to say, I didn’t get a lot of female attention in my younger years.  Amazingly though, as soon as I started paying even the slightest amount of attention to what I put on, I started receiving attention from the women around me.  It’s not that I was rocking the latest trends or the high-end brands, because I surely wasn’t.  It was that I cared enough to want to look good, and it showed in other aspects of my life as well.  Neither guys nor girls can resist the one who is constantly working to improve themselves.  It’s just damn sexy.

Personal Hygiene

I’m going to be really blunt here, because there’s no easy way to say this… Some of you people are smelly.  And it’s not just guys.  Girls locker rooms aren’t so pleasant either.  It’s time to invest in an arsenal of personal toiletries and become acquainted with using them.  I’ll ease you into it:  start with a good antiperspirant, a sweet-scented cologne or perfume (learn about them here), a toothbrush and paste, mouth wash, chap stick,  hand soap, a good moisturizer, body wash, face wash, shampoo and conditioner, any basic hair products, and a body spray.  Learn to use them and use them often.  A trip to your drugstore might cost you $50-75, but the difference is astounding.

Confidence

Some people just have a confident aura to them.  I’m not one of them.  I work on my confidence all the time.  It’s not that I lack confidence, but that I want to radiate confidence.  I don’t want to just feel confident, I want you to be able to see it, even smell it on me.  So I learn to talk the talk and walk the walk.  Language, including body language, is the best way to show confidence.  Take note of the confident people you know.  They don’t have to tell you they’re confident, it’s in the details.  Learn some of those details and emulate them till it becomes second nature.  Let the outside shine with the light that you feel on the inside.

Manners

You might find it surprising, but this one isn’t just for the guys.  Somewhere in the last 20 years or so, mothers apparently decided that since their boys lacked manners, it was oppressive to make their girls learn them, and here we are now, in a manner-free world.  Let me just say one thing: belching is gross, from a girl or a guy.  If you aren’t keen on etiquette I suggest you head to your local bookstore and find a basic how-to book on etiquette.  It will help you in every aspect of your life, I guarantee it.

Dance Moves

I once saw the goofiest dude on earth pick up a chick with his dance moves.  And the craziest part was that his dance moves weren’t even good.  He did some goofy-ass dance that looked like he was a train, and somehow she liked it.  Ever since that day I’ve realized the power of the dance move, and you should too.  Hit up YouTube and learn a move or two.  It’s easy to pick up simple dances and trendy ones as well.  Check out this “How To Moonwalk” below.

Animalisticness

It might be a made up word, but that makes it no less real.  Guys and girls both find themselves insanely attracted to the animal side of the opposite sex.  That’s why girls like to see a guy sweat, or lift heavy things, and guys are turned on by the smell of a girl’s hair, or the curve of her hips.  These things bring out the carnal desires in all of us.  They stimulate our animalistic senses of attraction, and create an attraction that is unlike anything else.  Use this to your advantage.  Guys, think twice before shaving off that beard, or even the 5 o’clock shadow.  The ability to grow facial hair comes during puberty when your levels of testosterone increase.  And ladies, go light on the perfume, and let your nails grow.  Too much perfume will cover up the natural pheromones that draw male attention, and there is something about a manicured set of nails that reminds guys of those nails digging into his back in the throws of his sheets.  Don’t ask me why we think of these things, we just do…

Define Your Sexy

Nobody gets to the destination of their road-trip without a goal in mind.  In the same sense, how can you increase your sexiness if you don’t even know what it consists of.  You may feel like a nerd for doing this, but trust me and try it;  Take out a notepad and paper.  Think about the people of the same sex as you who get a lot of attention.  What is it about them?  Why do people like them?  What do you like about them?  Define what sexy is to you, and then create your road map.  Assess exactly where you are on the road to sexy and start trucking along.  It’s crazy how people who aim to succeed often do and people who wonder aimlessly often end up where they started, huh?

Pay close attention to the ideas I’ve outlined here.  Understand why they are sexy.  Understand why people would find these things attractive.  Then work on yourself.  Nobody is saying you need a complete overhaul, but if you’ve had that guitar collecting dust in the corner for years now, why not pick it up and learn a song or two?  It you have luscious thick hair, why waste it wearing a bun or ponytail all the time?  Start small and do the little things that increase your sex appeal and before you know it, you’ll be getting attention from everyone around you, including people twice your age and half it…  You’ll be beating them off with a stick.  probably.

The boy short is gaining popularity in the lingerie world, offering both comfort and sex appeal.

There’s a reason top lingerie boutiques are seeing thong sales drop as fast as the waistlines of jeans did when thongs were first made popular: everyone is tired of witnessing the endless parade of visible thong strings that pop out of the hipster jeans of Britney Spears-wannabes.

The look is dated, trashy, and dead.

Of course, there are the practical reasons for owning thongs, mainly to prevent visible panty lines when wearing skirts and formal wear. However, with panties made of Tactel now available (Check out Jockey No Panty Line Underwear), you can finally get rid of the permanent wedgie without trading it in for panty lines.

What has ascended to the throne of sexiest panties? Boy shorts that leave a little more to the imagination but still accentuate the best part of your bum are gaining popularity fast. That curve that peeks out from under the fabric is just enough to drive guys crazy while still being comfortable enough to wear everyday.

Some pointers to keep in mind before you head to your favorite lingerie spot:

• If you’re sporting a small bum, a pair of boy shorts that end at the mid-part of your cheeks will help your backside appear fuller.
• If you’ve got a little extra love toward the top—particularly the muffin top or love handle kind—a wide band at the waistline will help you appear slimmer. Also, try to find fabrics that will rest easily on your hips without cutting into them. Victoria’s Secret has some lace boy shorts out now that, I swear, are the most comfortable and sexiest underwear I’ve ever owned (New Lacy Hip Hugger).

• If you insist on staying loyal to the thong, stay away from the string thong and instead opt for her classier cousin: the wide waistband lace thong.

…and don’t forget: if your pants are on, no one should see your panties! This isn’t 1999, and Sisqo’s “Thong Song” is both a faux pas in the club scene and as your personal anthem.

Over the years I’ve seen many guys try their game on pretty girls.  Some of these guys did well, but many did not so well.  Most of us could stand to learn a thing or two about how to attract a woman like a gentleman.  We’ll go over the do’s and dont’s of flirting.  Guys, get a pen and paper, here come some grade A flirting tips.

But before we get into all of that, you need to realize one thing.  Learning how to flirt with a beautiful woman isn’t about having a bag of tricks or a script.  It isn’t about learning the art of seduction or manipulation, or anything else sleazy like that.  This isn’t a David DeAngelo type of guide to flirting.  Flirting like a Gentleman is about engaging a woman on an intellectual level, building a rapport with her, and chancing that at the end of the flirting she has become as interested in you as you are in her.

Making friends wasn’t terribly difficult in kindergarten, and if you treat this woman the same way your mother taught you to treat girls in kindergarten, you’ll do just fine.  so RELAX, and realize that you’re you, she’s her, and that’s all that either of you needs to be.

Humor

Humor is a great way to engage a woman.  You know the old saying, “a woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh.”  When first meeting a woman though, it’s important to keep the humor clean and fun.  It’s ok to tease, but make sure you aren’t offending anyone or teasing too much, as some girls are more sensitive than others.

Confidence vs. Arrogance

Women love a confident man.  But most can’t stand an arrogant one.  Whether you are a cheerfully confident guy or you’re just acting, make sure to steer clear of the arrogant kind of confidence.  Remember, just because you feel good about yourself doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone else.

Compliment, Compliment, Compliment

I love compliments, you love compliments, and I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that she will too.  Compliments are a nice, pressure-free way to build rapport with a woman.  Obviously the content of your compliment matters, though.  “You have really pretty hair,” or “I love that jacket on you” are both good compliments, but “Your body is bangin in that dress” might not be.  Use your better judgement on this one.

Hold a Gaze

It has been scientifically proven that women find a greater psychological attraction to men who can hold their gaze.  Understand the difference between a gaze and a stare though, and don’t let things get weird.  If she looks into your eyes, hold contact for just 1 second longer than you might feel comfortable doing.  It’s a great way to get better at it.  Pretty soon women that you have no intent on pursuing will find themselves wildly attracted to you.  Well, maybe.

Chivalry

What would “A Gentleman’s Guide” be without chivalry.  To some it’s dead, to others there is no relationship without it.  As a gentleman you always remain chivalrous.  This means you open doors for her, pull out her chair, offer your coat, and even walk arm in arm if she would like.  You allow her up the stairs first (in case she falls, so you can save her) and you walk before her down the stairs, unless she insists, in which case you can walk together.  If you asked her out, you pay for the entire night.  If she asked you out, you offer to pay, but allow her the final decision.  If she insists on paying, you allow her to and offer to take her out again (on your dime of course).  A gentleman is not a gentleman without chivalry.

Excitement

Excitement is the driving force behind “the spark.”  It can make or break her opinion of you.  Some guys get away with being jerks and losers just because they are exciting as hell.  You want to be that exciting guy.  You want that girl to think you are straight out of an action movie, you’re so exciting.  This doesn’t mean you have to ride a motorcycle and wear a leather jacket (although those wouldn’t hurt), but you should be enthusiastic about your interests.  I once met a girl who was so enthusiastic about her knitting (that’s right, knitting, like a grandma) that I found it curiously attractive.

Also, you should show your excitement for the things that she’s into.  You obviously don’t want to be jumping out of your chair with excitement, but you want her to know that you think her interests are cool.

Let Her Talk

We all love to talk about ourselves, and women are no exclusion.  Once when out with a woman, I let her talk pretty much the entire night, and only said a few (very cool) things about myself.  By the end of the night she was all talked out, but she had apparently had a great time, and found me to be very interesting.  “How is that?” I asked.  “I dunno, there’s just something about you that is intriguing.” she answered.  You know what it was?  It was that she felt good about our date because she talked about herself (the person she loves most) the whole time and didn’t find out much about me.  I was a good listener, which she liked, and she didn’t know much about me, which made me mysterious.  It’s a potent combination that women go crazy over.

Stay Positive

I learned a hard lesson once, and it’s not something that I’m ready to share.  But let’s just say this: No matter how well things are going, one emotionally negative thing said could ruin everything.  Dating is a fickle being, and it can swing from good to bad in .02 seconds flat.  So as a general rule, keep your first dates positive, no matter what.  Don’t talk about your dead grandmother, your dead-end job (unless it’s with humor), your lack of satisfaction in life, or anything else that might change the mood from something positive to something negative.

Keep The Mystery Alive

Ah the mystery again.  It was so important that I decided to talk about it again.  No matter how awesome you are, if a woman ends the night feeling like she knows everything about you, there is much less motivation for a second date.  What’s new to find out?  What exciting things could you possibly say?  She’s heard all she needs to, and she’s moving on.  So while it’s great to share things about yourself, keep the mystery alive, and keep a couple of great stories in the holster for other dates.

Be The Man

Let her wear the makeup and skirts, and you wear the pants and (insert manly thing here…).  A woman may appreciate a sensitive guy, but not an overly sensitive one.  Don’t hide your manliness, let it shine.  Women like men, not boys, not metrosexuals, and not girls.  They want a man to be a man.  So do just that.  Be the man she’s looking for.

Physical Contact

Used sparingly, physical contact can really create a bond between the two of you.  A subtle touch of the wrist, knee, or even a pat on the arm or shoulder can really spark the fire.  Don’t be the guy who is all over girls, nobody likes that dude.  But when appropriate, practice the art of subtle communication through physical contact.

Create the Connection

Inside jokes, nicknames, and stories including the two of you… 3 things you should have in common with her by the end of the first few dates if you’re playing your cards right.  A relationship of substance can be organically enhanced by simple things like creating inside jokes or building stories together.   It gives her a sense that you two have a relationship already, even if you don’t.

Don’t Hide The Nerd Inside

Sure, you could hide the fact that you’re a level 78 Mage on World of Warcraft (I don’t actually know if there is a mage or whatever), but sooner or later she’s going to find all the action figures and magic cards.  Plus, if it’s something you really like, why be ashamed?  Is she really worth being someone else for?

Be yourself, as nerdy as you may be.  If she’s the right fit, she’ll find it geeky endearing (I just made that up, but it works), or at the very least amusing.  Oh and trust me, she has an inner nerd too.  They always do.

Here are a few tiny tips to help you on your way

1. Share a secret – builds rapport and helps solidify a connection
2. Ask Questions - shows interest and allows you to learn about her
3. Avoid talking about past relationships – nobody ever wants to hear this on a first date
4. Give her all of your attention – don’t answer your phone, look at other girls, etc.
5. Don’t flirt with others in front of her - self-explanatory
6. Pay attention to language - Don’t curse if she doesn’t…
7. Don’t talk about sex - it adds pressure. Save that talk for later.

So there you have it.  The Gentleman’s Guide to Flirting.  Of course no guide would be complete without a few other gentleman (and ladies) chiming in.  So, let’s hear it.  What would be your #1 tip for a gentleman in training?  Leave your comments below and help a fella out!

Guys, if you hadn’t noticed all the pink and red hearts, cupid cut-outs, and mind numbing songs on the radio that want to make you want to go to cardiac arrest, we are nearing Valentine’s Day. The idea behind Valentine’s Day, believe it or not, is about thoughtfulness and showing your beloved how much you appreciate their very existence. This token of appreciation was used as a declaration of love, and done through hand written notes and precious mementos that symbolized that person’s love.

Sadly, like most things in this modern age, it has become another Hallmark holiday. Another occasion in our lives that poses to be more of a nuisance in our Fast n’ Edgy lifestyle, an event that seems to take too much time to create something that has little societal value. As a whole, we have moved towards a quick and mindless approach to showing our admiration to those we love. A $1.99 generic card here, a “Value Size” heart shaped box of chocolates there (cause bigger is better, right?), and, oh, don’t forget the roses from your neighborhood convenience store.

The thought put into the gift and its presentation shows how much they truly mean to you and a personalized note can be as meaningful as any ostentatious gift, if the love you have for one another is whole-hearted and pure.

The Gifts

Below are 4 gifts that seem typical, but stray away from the norm just enough to make a lasting impression.

Jewelry – Mont Blanc

If there were two words that seemed to fit more appropriately than women and jewelry, I haven’t found it. Typically, when someone says jewelry, the immediate thought is Tiffany’s. To many, Tiffany’s is the quintessence of sterling silver jewelry and diamonds. It is peppered with timeless elegance and sophistication, even to smallest detail; the box. Mont Blanc isn’t the household name that Tiffany’s is, but only to those in the know. Their pieces are unique, stunning and classified as high-end shopping. When the love of your life opens the box, be ready for the journey.

Shoes – Christian Louboutin

Few things in the female wardrobe are worn more often and given higher priority than shoes. Nothing will bring a smile to her face like shoes, because with that single purchase you’ve singlehandedly rejuvenated her entire wardrobe. THE shoe that cannot be knocked of its gold encrusted pedestal is the shoe with the electrifying red sole: Christian Louboutin. She will find any reason to wear a classic black pair of Christian Louboutin, because it will raise the sexy level of any outfit.

Cashmere Scarf – Prada

No need for a crazy description, just three words: Classy, Elegant, Cashmere.

Watch – Cartier

When talking about Cartier, she must be REALLY special to you. To get her one of the finest 18 karat white gold watches around, is a statement only shadowed by that ring (or future ring) on her finger. Classic and goes well with any skin tone.

All the items discussed above are meant to serve as a guide to show you to think outside the box, and still stay timeless. You want a gift that will stand the test of time but still have personality and intrigue. Regardless of the gifts that you pick from the above list, you’re guaranteed to be on her good side for many moons to come.

So what unique treasure have you prepared for your love this Valentine’s Day?

So there are plenty of sites out there telling you what to do this Valentine’s day. Some are focusing on keeping costs low, others coming up with unorthodox presents and things of that nature. But here at TwentiesLife, we want to help ensure that Valentine’s Day is your most romantic day of the year. So we’ve put together the top 10 Romantic Things To Do This Valentine’s Day. We hope you’ll consider them for making your day special.

1. Cook Dinner Together – There is just something about being in the kitchen working together and making a new recipe that just screams romantic.  For added intensity, try an international dish, like a curry or stir fry.
2. Make Each Other a Present – There’s something about construction paper that Hallmark just can’t compete with.  Making a card or other present for your love tells him/her just how much you were thinking of them.  Plus, the crappier it is the better, apparently…
3. Cuddle Up and Watch a Movie – Girls eat it up, and guys love the price.  You can’t beat a box of chocolate, a bag of pop corn, and a good romance or romantic comedy.  My recommendation: Love Actually. It’s a classic. It’s romantic, it’s funny, and it’s sure to get you both in a steamy mood.
4. Fruits and Cream – I don’t even think I need to explain this one.  Extra points are given when you feed each other.
5. Share Your Feelings – Hear me out, guys.  There is nothing a woman loves more than a declaration of love.  She craves it.  And even if she’s not telling you, she wants to hear it, often.  So suck up your manly pride, get out a pen and paper, and write down just why you chose her.  Tell her the reasons you love her.  Even the quirky ones, like “I love that you love me enough to wash my stinky socks.”
6. Kiss – I’ve noticed that as far as our generation has come, there are still some puritanical views that just somehow snuck into our lives.  Well I’m here to set the record straight.  You crazy kids need to kiss more.  At home, at the park, at the grocery store.  There is nothing wrong with kissing the one you love, and we could all use a little more of that action!  So kiss him/her, everywhere you go, any time you think of it.  It will boost your relationship like crazy!
7. Massage – There is something about a passionate rubdown that just gets my motor running!  I’m not sure about the rest of you, but after a long week of work and hitting the gym, I’m sore and have knots in places that I couldn’t reach if I wanted to.  Having someone to help work those out is like a dream come true.  Ladies, American Crew makes a massage oil for men.  It’s inexpensive, lightly fragranced (not girly smelling), goes on smooth and isn’t sticky.  He’ll love it.  Men, anything lightly fragranced for the lady will do.  Nobody wants their romantic massage to be interrupted by smelly oils, so remember to keep it light, use just enough to rub on smoothly, and warm up your hands first.  Have fun!
8. Picnic – I’ve had very few romantic picnics in my day, and I’m guessing it’s the same for most of you.  A picnic is a really fun and inexpensive date option.  It allows you to prepare all the things you’ll want for your trip, go for a romantic walk, and find a secluded place to enjoy yourselves alone.  I recommend a neighborhood park or a secluded beach.  Fruits, sandwiches, chocolate, and sparkling sodas are all great picnic basket stuffers.  Don’t forget the blanket!
9. A Day in Bed – Sometimes the monotony of Valentine’s Day gets old and you just wanna break tradition.  For those days I recommend a day in bed.  You vow (with your love) to stay in bed all day, order take out, eat junk food, and just spend time alone together.  It always ends up being one of the most relaxing, relationship boosting experiences you can have without leaving the comfort of your own home.  And of course, a day in bed almost always leads to…(continue reading below)
10. Lots and Lots of SEX – You didn’t think I’d leave this one out, did you?  Valentine’s Day is about love, romance, and passion.  So heat things up with some body to body action!  You’ll be glad you did, and hopefully so will she…

Honorable Mention

• Take a shower/bath together
• Share secrets
• Skip clothes for a day
• Kisses on cheeks and forehead
• Sing to him/her
• Lingerie – The gift for both parties
• Foot rub
• Amateur Photography Shoot

That just about covers it for this Valentine’s Day.  But I’m sure all you lovers out there know better than me.  So what’s your plan for this Valentine’s Day?  Leave your comments below and let us know.

Welcome to TwentiesLife.com, your new home for lifestyle tips for adults in their twenties.  Twenties Life is a solutions based online magazine geared towards creating a lifestyle in your twenties that most people of only dream about!  How will we do this? By teaching you how to live a life that is meaningful, proactive, and overall more luxurious!

The topics that covered here at Twenties Life are vast, and the overall message will be useful to any young adult in any stage of life.  We at the Twenties Life will be helping you shape your present life along with your future.

So what will we be talking about?  Lifestyle.  This covers everything from Fashion & Dress to Sex & Love, Culture & Fine Living to Health, Business & Money to News & Politics. We’ll pretty much be talking about everything that pertains to a twenty-something’s life.

Buckle up and get ready for the ride of your life!  TwentiesLife.com launches February 1, 2010!