Twenties Life

Think of the coolest person you know.  I know this might sound childish, who thinks of people in terms of cool anymore, right?  But stay with me here… think of the most interesting person you know, someone you seem to gravitate to regardless of whether you like them or not.  What are they like?  What do they do?  What are their interests?

Chances are that they have hobbies and/or skills that somehow seem to make them infinitely cooler than you think you are.  In reality they may or may not be cooler than you, but it just seems like they are.  I’ll tell you why.

They create & express.

The most interesting people in the world, you know the ones who seem smart, skilled, educated, and just fun to be around often share two characteristics, if no others.  They create and they express.
We as humans are, in spite of our preferences, attracted to people who create things.  These things could be music, art, inventions, architecture, or a number of other things.  But the fact remains that they use the skills and assets they have and create something that did not exist before them.  And we think that’s awesome.

We also love human expression.  That’s why marketing campaigns that play on human emotion do so well.  If they can get us to feel what they express, they own us.  Think poets and song writers.  The best ones are incredibly in touch with emotion, and paint a picture that hits us in the heart.

Without getting to far into the psychology of our attraction to creation and expression, let’s cover a few hobbies you can pick up that will make you infinitely cooler than you were before.

Art

Music

Writing

Cooking

Do-It-Yourself (DIY)

Fix a leaky faucet

Build & troubleshoot a computer

Home remodeling

Build a campfire

Find great deals online

Decorating

Perfect gift giving

BBQing

Gardening

Cosmetic Application

Web Design/Development

Repurposing (finding creative new uses for old products)

Sewing (Fixing a button, patching a tear, etc)

Investing

Fitness Training

There are plenty more, but these few will definitely get you started.  Having a decent knowledge of each of these will make you the Renaissance man of your circle of friends.  And everyone loves that guy or girl.

I’m sure there are plenty of other hobbies that would make me infinitely cooler than I am now.  What are some that hobbies that you are interested in that you think make you cooler?  Leave a comment below and let us know.  I could definitely use them. =)

Here’s the deal: Hate it or love it, people will judge you by the image your project.  Your personal image will be used to determine how successful you are, or even worse, how successful you are capable of being.  That’s right, the sad truth is that if you don’t look like you could play the part of an executive, you may never get the chance, no matter how hard you work.

A projection of success is often a double-edged sword, though.  Just look at doctors.  Many of them feel the pressure to look successful even when in residency (making about 40k per year).  This causes them to go out and buy a luxury car, spend countless dollars on a top-end wardrobe, and go to and do the things that successful doctors often do.  They are “forced” to play this game for their entire lives, and many never save enough to retire.  This is not the path that I’m promoting here.  If anything, I’m exploiting this exact idea for your benefit.

If you are willing to do the work and dedicate a little time, you can project the same level of success that people who make 2-10 times as much as you have.  Of course this isn’t necessary, but if your goal is to “fake it till you make it” this will help you get there.

First off, when you think luxury car, what comes to mind?  For me it’s Lexus, BMW, and Mercedes Benz.  A Mercedes C300 starts at $33k. A BMW 328i starts at $36k.  A Lexus IS starts at $37.5k.  So it’s easy to see how it could be dangerous buying a $35k car on your entry level salary.  But that doesn’t mean you can’t own one.  Consider this: A 2003 BMW 330i with less than 50,000 miles on it is valued (by Kelly Blue Book) at $13,230.  This car probably has equivalent or better technology than the car you are currently driving, even if it costs less (a Toyota Corolla starts at $15k, and you better believe that doesn’t come with navigation or the other cool things you can get from a luxury car).

Maybe you didn’t know that you could get them that cheap, or maybe you are afraid to drive a used car.  Let me just tell you this.  My car is a BMW 328ci (2000) with 95k miles, and my fiance drives a Lexus RX300 (2002) with more than 150k miles, and both of our cars run fantastically.  Coincidentally, the car I owned previously was a Chevrolet Camaro, and though I drove it to 179k miles, it didn’t run brand new as good as my BMW now drives (with almost 100k miles).  The quality of craftsmanship that is put into these luxury cars is unbelievable, and if you are willing to sacrifice having the latest model, you can ride around in style without breaking the bank.

Next, take a look at your boss’s (or his/her boss’s) wardrobe.  Chances are your’s doesn’t compare, or if it does your wallet looks extra thin.  This doesn’t have to be that way.  I own many suits and sports coats, including an Armani coat, and the most I’ve ever spend on any 1 item was $189 (and that’s for the suit I’m getting married in).  If you are willing to stalk and hunt an item you really want, you can get it for way less than retail.  Also, if you are willing to sacrifice brand for style, you can get away with plenty of great stuff on the cheap.  My first three piece suit came from Target.  I’m a pretty lean, muscular guy, so it fit perfectly off the rack and required no alterations.  And while I can’t say it looked better than an Armani or Hugo Boss suit, I’ll tell you I get complimented EVERY SINGLE time I wear it.  Here are some of my shopping strategies that work well.  They just require you to do a little work.

• Subscribe to email notifications for the stores you shop at often.  Macy’s had an amazing sale this last weekend, and I walked out with 6 pairs of slacks, 2 belts, and a suit for less than 400 bucks.
• Use coupons and shop clearance.  At Express, I bought 3 button down shirts on sale, 3 for $29 each (usually $49.95 each).  But I also had a coupon that was spend $75, get $25 off.  So I got 3 shirts for $66 when it would usually be $150.  Not bad.
• Hit up your local Marshalls, Ross, TJ Maxx or other discount brand seller once every couple of weeks.  You’ll find great shoes, shirts, pants, ties, and belts at a fraction of their retail price.  You’ll have to do a little hunting in these stores, but a great find can save you hundreds.
• Hit up the outlet malls.  This is where I got my Armani sports coat.  It retailed $550, and I got it for a whopping $95.  Of course, I wear a 42L, which probably isn’t very popular, but it was still an awesome find.  I also recently got Banana Republic’s last seasons polos for $15 each (usually $40) because the new seasons line has 3 buttons instead of two.  I bought 6.  For that price, I’ll sacrifice the extra button.
• Don’t wait till you need it.  If you find a good deal, buy it and store it.  Even if you have to sacrifice a dinner outing this week to recoup the cost, it’s worth it rather than paying retail on the day you need it.

I guess the moral of the story is that you don’t have to spend an arm and a leg to look successful.  Even when I’m established in my career, which averages between 150k-350k per year, I’ll still never buy a new luxury car.  It just doesn’t make financial sense.  Plus, it feels like a great accomplishment when I find these deals.  I’m driving a BMW for a fraction of what most people spend to drive their Toyota Camrys and Ford Tauruses.

All it takes is a little discipline (to not buy things at full price), a little time each week (to check out my usual shopping places), and patience (to wait till it costs what I’m willing to pay).

So, do you still think that it’s too expensive to project an image of success?  I don’t.

I am a horrible morning person.  I have a 35 minute (at best) drive to work, which I’m supposed to be at at 8 a.m., and I wake up at 7:20.  If you do the math, that gives me 5 minutes to be dressed and out the door.  Sure, I’ve maximized my efficiency by having a shaved hairstyle, knowing what I’m going to wear the night before, and showering before bed, but it’s still a terrible routine.

My friend, David Pierce @ Digitizd.com found ways to digitize his morning routine to ease the pain of having to get out of that warm and comfy cocoon.  I need to design something like that.  Here’s what I’m thinking:

1. wake up to the sound of something pleasant, like Kokomo by the Beach Boys
2. step out onto my balcony (to feel the weather) and stretch
3. Start a cup of tea or coffee (depending on how much of a boost I need) and a breakfast snack (toast or something)
4. Load the news on my iPad and see what’s new (I should really keep up with current events)
5. leave home and start my drive

Now all of this will probably add another 30 minutes onto my 5 minute wake-up plan I have now, but it will start a routine that will have me awake and ready by the time I get to work, rather than still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.  Plus if I get this routine down, I can even add a short 10 minute workout and really jumpstart my day.  You wouldn’t believe what a couple of push-ups, crunches, and jumping jacks can do to get the blood flowing.

So here’s my pledge.  Starting tomorrow morning I’m going to try my new routine.  I’m going to stick to it for 30 days and see what it does to my productivity.  I’ll report back in 30 days and let you know how it went.

Are there any tweaks I should make to my routine before I start?  What is your morning routine?  What do you to to start your day off right?  Leave a comment below and help me (and the TwentiesLife readers) get a grip on my mornings.  Thanks!

Our lifestyle has become one of hardcore consumerism.  But let’s face it: that’s a lifestyle that leads to unhappiness and failure.  Unless we are to be of the top 3% or so, we’ll never have all of the things we want.  If we don’t find balance, or at least a few good ways to upgrade and increase our life enjoyment without having to spend a fortune, we may find ourselves in hard times in this economy.

But don’t fret.  It’s not really the new Apple iPhone that makes you happy.  It’s just the satisfaction of getting something that you want.  Realign your wants to be happiness and enjoyment (instead of just the retail products that are on TV today), and you’ll surely find success.  Here are a few ways:

Learn a new game

Have you ever played Mancala?  How about Chess?  Tennis?  Volleyball?  There’s nothing like learning a new game to really work your brain (and body) and really pump up the endorphins (happy feeling brain chemicals).  Obviously you aren’t confined to my ideas.  There are millions of games out there played by billions of people across the world.  Pick one and learn it.  For extra enjoyment bring a friend!

Pickup a new hobby

Now I’ll admit, most hobbies do cost some amount of money.  But buying your first guitar and buying a new iPhone are two very different purchases.  And if your new hobby is knitting (not just for old ladies anymore!), it won’t cost you much to get started.  When we learn new hobbies our brains build connections quickly like when we were children learning things for the first time.  This promotes good mental health and is super fun!

Experience another culture

This one is as easy as picking up a new cookbook (from the library) or having dinner at a friend’s house.  Learning about a new culture by experiencing it is a wonderfully enjoyable way to learn.  Taste the foods, hear the music, listen to the language.  Talk to the elders, observe the dress, learn the traditions.  Our lack of experience and knowledge of other cultures in America has led to our ignorance.  Don’t let our generation repeat the mistakes of the previous.

Volunteer

I know you’ve probably heard this one before, and I bet you’ll hear it again.  But let’s not wait till next time to do something.  Volunteering your time and energy is one of the most compassionate things you can do for your fellow man.  And you’ll benefit from it too.  People who volunteer aren’t just the most compassionate.  They are also the most content, the happiest.  People who spend all of their time thinking about themselves often find that there is no happiness at the top if you haven’t brought others up with you.  But those same people would have been content at the bottom if they were in good company.

Submerge into a story

I’m sure I can’t be the only twenty something that’s done this.  When you get your head into a good fictional story, your mind can really take you anywhere.  Through books I’ve seen London, Paris, New Orleans, a vampire underworld, the future, and a whole lot more.  Can Jersey Shore really compare?

Reconsider your relationships

Relationships can be the best part of your life, but they can also be the worst.  When we grew up, we learned to choose friends based on proximity.  Later we learned to build relationships based on common interest.  But now it’s time to learn again.  Now you must learn to choose and develop your relationships with a conscious mind.  You need to choose your friends wisely, and you need to build those relationships into something great.  Your friends don’t need to have a common hobby or live close to you.  They need only to share your newly found zest for a wonderful life.

Forgive

So you’ve been holding bitterness and resentment for years.  Sometimes you don’t even remember why you’re angry.  But you are passionate and you won’t just let it go.

I feel sorry for people trapped in that kind of mentality.  It’s poison.  How can you attract success and happiness in your life when you have room for that kind of poison in it as well?  Learn to forgive, to reconcile, and to let your pettiness go, and you’ll find that your world will instantly seem brighter.  Forgive not for your enemy or friend, forgive for yourself, so that you may find an inner happiness greater than the pettiness that it shall replace.

Find nature

This means something different to all of us.  For some it’s a walk in the park (literally).  For others it’s a weekend camping trip.  For others it’s a month long retreat from the hustle and bustle of daily life.  Whatever it takes, reconnect with nature.  Watch the trees and sense their calmness.  Nature has been here for millions (or thousands if that’s what you believe…) of years, and it will be here once we’re gone.  It sustains not only our own lives, but the lives of every other creature on earth.  We move quickly, work hard, and pursue all sorts of things, while nature just is.  There is a sense of calmness in taking time out of your life to reconnect with that sort of existence.  You should do it often.

Express your emotions

Nothing feels better than expressing yourself.  It’s something innate in us.  But for some reason, we learn to repress it.  For instance, when is the last time you gave your mom or dad a hug?  When’s the last time you told your brother or sister how much you love them?  When is the last time you smiled at a stranger, simply because you wanted them to feel your happiness.  You’ll find that when you get better at expressing yourself, all other aspects of your life get better as well.

Redefine Happiness

All of these examples are ways to help you redefine what happiness really is to you.  Believe me, happiness is not in your next purchase, it’s in your next experience.  At the end of your life, are you going to want to have stockpiled the largest list of retail products, or will you want to have the greatest list of stories to tell.  I don’t know about you, but I want to be the old guy that amazes the next generation with my experiences, even if I don’t have a dollar in the bank.

Life is all about getting what you want from it.  And as we can see Americans are an amazingly efficient group of people when it comes to getting what we want.  If we define what we want, and constantly remind ourselves of it, it wont be long until we surround ourselves with others who want the same thing, and work every day towards achieving it (rather than the next big screen TV).  Trust me, redefine your happiness and you’ll never look at your retail-queen friend with envy again.

There’s something about growing up with superheroes and villains that really makes a boy (or girl) feel like he can save the world. When we were young we often thought about the huge differences that we would make. We knew that we have the ability to change the world, and we thought that we were just the people to do the job.

Sadly somewhere between 8 and 18 we lost sight of our own heroism. We started caring more about iphones and less about impact. We became consumers, and as consumers we thought less of what we could do and more of what we could get. Something in us died the moment we made that switch.

But I’ve been thinking a lot about honor and heroism lately and I’ve realized that it’s more possible than ever to be a hero in our twenties. We have just enough access to opportunity and resources to make a real difference. If we can only be disciplined enough to set a goal and work towards achieving it we can be real life heroes. Need some help figuring out how? Here’s a few quick tips:

Help a stranded driver

A stranded driver is like the modern day damsel in distress. For the low price of a few minutes of your time (to learn to change a tire) and about $10 (to buy jumper cables) you can attain all the necessary skills and tools to help out at least 50% of people who “break down.” If you’ve ever helped or been helped in this situation, you realize just how much of a hero the person who stops can be.

Teach a child or elderly person

No matter what stage you are in your education, we all possess the knowledge of something that could be of great use to a child, or even an elderly person. And if you’ve ever taught a child, you know just how amazing it can feel to know that something you taught a child will make a difference for the rest of their lives. Whether it’s teaching a kid how to save money or to shoot a jump shot, or teaching an elderly person how to use a computer, heroes find ways to help other people benefit from their knowledge.

Mentor a troubled teen

Better than any other age group, we understand the pressures and stresses of being a teen in today’s society. We just got out of there, and we know best all of the issues that a teenager today will face. Because of that knowledge, we can best identify with teenagers, better than their parents or other family members and better than many other adults they come into contact with. And we’re just the right age that they could identify with us. Mentoring a troubled teen can be infinitely rewarding because you don’t really have to do much at all. Just be there, be a friend, and show a teen possibilities that he/she might not even know existed. You’ll be making a real impact on their lives, and you’ll sacrifice little more than your time and maybe a little money; a small price to pay for the opportunity to turn someone’s life around.

Care for the environment

That’s right friends, Captain Planet was a superhero as well. And with BP’s “accident” spilling thousands (or maybe millions) of gallons of oil into the gulf, I think it’s pretty easy to see the line between good and bad as far as the environment goes. Pick up trash = good, spill oil into the worlds oceans = bad. Simple enough, right? Whether you’re taking drastic steps to reduce your carbon footprint, or just replacing your bulbs with fluorescent ones and using less water, every little bit counts. It’s not that difficult, and if our generation of adults is to be the ones that “save the world” we need to develop these habits into our lifestyle, not just gimmicks like the whole “green” fad.

Do good socially

It’s always great to help other people. But what’s even greater is to help other people catch the “helper” bug. You could do great things for the rest of your life, and that would be fantastic, but another person could get 10 of his/her friends to do good as well, and that would be just as great or even greater. Get your friends to fight for your cause and you’ll be an army of heroes, rather than just an army of one. Plus, it’s a great thing to do good socially rather than just going out and partying all the time. If you’re stumped for ideas of great things to do socially, visit dosomething.org.

You see, with these 5 steps you’ll be on your way to being a hero in no time. Can you imagine what kind of world we would live in if everyone took just 10 minutes out of their day to be a hero? That would be 60 hours of heroism from each person each year. And it would be a world of difference to the person you’re saving. I know the 9 year old inside of me is really excited that I’m taking these baby steps towards becoming a hero. What does the 9 year old inside of you think about you?

Whether in college, our careers, or just trying to solve a puzzle, brainpower and critical thinking skills are crucial to every day life.  We require the use of logic and problem solving skills each day for a multitude of tasks.  The sad truth, though, is that many of us have brains that have already begun deteriorating since our days of cramming for exams and pulling all-nighters for finals week.  It doesn’t have to be this way though.  There are plenty of things we can do to “exercise” our brains and increase brainpower.  Train your brain with these techniques and you’ll have a mind as fit as a bodybuilder’s body.

1. Sleep on it:  Sometimes all it takes to really solve a problem is to think about it a bit before going to sleep.  When we sleep our minds aren’t limited by the logic that we use day to day, and the abstract thinking can really help see a different perspective.  Sometimes you just need to sleep on it.
2. Exercise Your Body: Research has shown that people who exercise a minimum of 10 minutes per day have 30% increased brain function.  Get the blood flowing and you brain will help you solve problems.
3. Focus Your Breathing: Oxygen is one of the foods of the brain.  When you focus on taking slow, deep breaths, your brain is flooded with a large amount of oxygen.  This allows it to do it’s best work.  When you have a brain-intensive activity coming up, focus on your breathing before and during to ensure your brain is fed.
4. Sit Up Straight:  Posture has a lot to do with brainpower as well.  Optimum sitting position is to sit up straight, square your shoulders, and keep your head straight above your neck.  Studies have shown this to be a more effective posture than slouching or laying down.
5. Learn Your Cycle:  Our brain works in cycles.  Generally we have about 90 minutes of high brain function and activity followed by a 30 minute lull.  If you can accurately observe the difference, and plan accordingly, you can do your best thinking when your brain is in power mode and do your mundane activities during your brain’s down time.
6. Learn a New Language: Here comes more science.  Research has shown that learning a new language in middle and older age decreases the onset of age-related decline of mental function as well as mental related diseases.  Learn a couple of new words a day and you’ll be well on your way to a good healthy brain in your later years.
7. Write Often:  Not just responding to emails, but writing for yourself.  Write about your day, your thoughts, your feelings, your plans, your goals.  Get comfortable with a pen and paper.  It helps you concentrate your thoughts and helps your brain realize what’s important as far as memory formation goes.
8. Listen To Classical Music: In a study that tested children after studying with and without classical music, the children who studied with the music tested on average 80% higher than the children who studies without it.  Listen to classical music when studying or really working your brain.
9. Caffeine:  Though it’s often a double edged sword, if used right caffeine can be one of the greatest sources of boost for brain power that we have.  Skip it in the morning, so that it’s ready and potent when you need it.  People who drink coffee daily develop a resistance to it’s effects, thus feeling sluggish and requiring more and more as the days go on, while those who keep it in the reserves for only when necessary experience a boost and mental and physical capabilities.
10. Avoid Sugar:  Large amounts of sugar tend to give us a very short rush followed by a long lull.  This is because the sugar is burned as energy, but if not used quickly is then converted to fat as storage.  When the sugar is broken down, insulin is released and blood is used for digestion rather than brain power.  Less blood in the brain means less good thinking.
11. Clear Your Mind:  Practice this often.  Just make the decision to and then execute clearing your mind.  The faster and better you become, the more control you have over your mental function.  People who aren’t good at clearing their mind often find that there is a lot of noise going on in there when they need to really be thinking… practice now and it will serve you well later.
12. Social Interaction:  Many people don’t realize this but social interaction takes a lot of brain power.  We are quickly and constantly thinking about what everyone else around us is saying, interpreting how we feel about it, and considering and executing a response.  Then we observe reactions to other our responses and the whole process restarts itself.  It’s a pretty mentally heavy activity.  The more we do it, the better we get, the more fit our brains become.
13. Define and Prove Your Beliefs:  It’s easy to adopt beliefs that someone else has proved to us.  It sounds good, so we just believe it.  But when we define our beliefs to others and try to prove them, we find that we may not be as eloquent as the person who proved them to us.  If you can get into the habit of being able to eloquently and logically express your beliefs, your mind will flourish.
14. Eat Fish:  Fish is rich in omega fatty acids, the same that fuel the brain and healthy brain function.  Eat more fish.
15. Drink water:  I don’t think  I need to remind you of all the reasons you need water, but you need it.  Try to drink 6 glasses of water a day, then drink more.
16. Solve Puzzles, Riddles, and Games: These are like bench-press and bicep curls for your brain.  Do them often.
17. Eat Smaller Meals:  Smaller meals means less time digesting, which means faster recovery from digestion and more time for higher brain function.  Ever notice how after a big meal you get sleepy and lethargic?  Avoid that like the plague.
18. Take a Multi-vitamin: In America we just don’t eat the way we need to.  Though it’s not a proper replacement for healthy eating, a multi-vitamin will help ensure that you aren’t terribly deficient of any important vitamins and minerals.
19. Manage Stress:  Stress is like poison to a healthy brain.  It decreases our ability to think clearly and properly solve problems.  Learning to manage your stress could be the best way to ensure a healthy brain.
20. Practice Your Math: Even shopping can be a place to practice your math.  For example, what’s 40% off of $80?  If you don’t know, you need to get to action!

Following these steps is only the beginning to building a stronger, faster, healthier brain.  There are many other things you can do as well.  What do you do to ensure that your brain is in tip top shape?

The idea of being happy seems so simple and yet people struggle, too often, with keeping this mentality continuous in their lives. This is not to say that we all don’t get the blues or sometimes hit a patch of trouble, but getting back to that state of mind seems like an upward climb on a day-to-day basis.  Society has made a killing on our misery and erratic state of mind; whether it is the countless motivational seminars, the self-help books, or even the #1 Billboard Hit that tells you to be happy.

We have been prescribed to do, say, feel, and even visualize things for the sole purpose of filling up that happiness meter that seems to constantly run on empty. Most of these magical cures do a lot more damage than good. The idea that one single action or a single declaration of happiness will keep us on the straight and narrow is as bad as a sales pitch from a pyramid scheme investor who “earned” $100,000 dollars from working at home selling scouring pads. It doesn’t make sense, but it still entices us. These delusions don’t work for our long term happiness.

The tricks of the trade are just that; tricks. Don’t be persuaded to attempt any of the following.

“Treating” yourself will make you happy.

One of the most preached and practiced ideas to fixing the blues. In theory, it make absolute sense, but the way we seem to practice it foils our end goal. The type of treat is what makes this piece of advice bad for us. The type of treat that is being inferred are ones that are good for us such as a long walk in the park, reading a book, going swimming, working out or going on an “adventure.” We tend to make the term “treat” synonymous with indulging in a guilty pleasure. The repercussions of this way of thinking leads to future feelings of guilt, loss of self, or just makes us sulk even more. Don’t look to the world for your happiness, look within.

When treating ourselves, we seem to revert to looking for physical things that do nothing for our overall well-being: a new outfit, bumming around, one more cigarette, a drink, a pint of ice cream, or an expensive entrée. The loss of self control, initially, seems uplifting, but will it make you feel better in the long run? The tiny buzz you get from that moment of ecstasy deepens the mood you were in, because your life has been more disordered than before. So stop giving yourself to things that create a mess of your life, and start bringing a sense of peace and order that was missing. Tighten up those loose screws, and when you are hit by a hard blow in life make sure they stay tightened.  Stop skipping out on the gym, stop eating “fake” foods, and don’t skip out on responsibility.

The next time you feel yourself needing to justify a treat or giving way to mindless behaviors, ask yourself: Will it do more harm than good? Will it cause more disorder in my life?

“Outer order brings inner calm.” –Gretchen Rubin

A life of leisure will make you happy

We all have fantasies and dreams of endless vacations, extravagant parties, and endless indulgence. This idea of enjoying life by not doing anything is a fool’s dream. This life quickly turns into a life of boredom and monotony. Harvard Psychology Professor Tal Ben-Shahar came to the understanding that in spite of all your freedoms, you cannot be happy without work. Not necessarily a 9 to 5 job, but something that gives you purpose, work that make you productive while enjoying a fulfilling activity. If you are stuck in a rut, or seem to find yourself in a state of constant unhappiness, ask yourself these two questions: What makes me happy? Do I have a purpose in life?

Immerse yourself in an environment that brings out you inner happiness, and I’m not talking about rainbows, puppies, and candy. The dream of making so much money that you never have to make anymore will bring you face-to-face with the greatest challenge you’ve ever dealt with it: yourself. Seek something more concrete that will promote long term happiness and sustain you even in the hard times. If you have negativity around constantly, you can’t flourish. Discard it, and seek new refuge.

How do you define yourself? What do you want to achieve? Make goals in your life, both short-term and long-term. Regardless of how minute the goal might appear to be, relish in the achievements of them. Most people fall because they don’t set short term goals alongside their long term ones. Whether it is doing 5 extra push-ups, keeping up with your laundry, reconnecting with old friends, befriending a random person, or even smiling more often. All these goals push you towards a better you. Short term goals give a person the boost they need to reach towards their next long term goal.

While enjoyable for the moment, a life without of leisure and materialism never quenches the desire for true life-long happiness. Understand your strengths and weakness, and make them play to your benefit. A person who isn’t willing to look inwardly as to who they truly are is living blind. The fantasy of treating yourself to your heart’s desire and living in leisure is just that; fantasy.

You must think about money. What matters now is what is happening right now. Are you making a decent living? What will make me want to listen to you? What makes you think you can achieve your dreams?

These are questions I’ve been asked in regards to achieving my dreams. People say I’m making a big mistake, trying to make a sustainable income from my blog, but I tell them that there is nothing else to live for. I cannot exist in a world where my life lays in the hands of someone else.

I want to be responsible for myself.

Living a life deferred

How many times will you let your dreams be constantly pushed to the back of your mind? High school is almost over and then my life changes forever. College is almost over and then my life changes forever. I’ll soon have a kid and my life will change forever.

I will retire and my life will change forever.

In retrospect, does our life really change? We are constantly working until our lifeblood drains out of us. Why should we spend the most pleasurable years of our lives working for a paycheck?

Even this post itself is being written for a wage.

Why? Why must the lives we dream for ourselves be constantly deferred?

Mostly because we believe that what’s always worked will work for us

We think that we must travel the conventional route — in order to keep ourselves stable. To align ourselves with people in the same boat as us. Those people that say, “You’re either with us together, or you’re against us, alone and maybe on the brink of death.”

When I look closer at the people following the conventional path, I see them giving it all they’ve got in classes that they either don’t like or really like; this is fine with me. But the kicker is that they’re just doing what they’ve been told is conventionally profitable.

They simply want jobs that will feed them. I have no doubt they will get it, but their life will still exist in their boss’s hands.

They don’t know the future, but they’re on a path that they believe is right.

In the same vein, I am going on an unconventional path that I believe is right as well.

Who will win? Who’s will is destined to become reality? Maybe both of our destinies.

It’s entirely possible that if you put your best effort in trying to achieve the conventional life, you will achieve it. Similarly, I think that it’s also possible that you can put your best effort in trying to achieve the unconventional life and you will achieve.

Get it?

Unconventional and conventional lives are both difficult to attain. But in the end, it all depends on which life you choose for yourself. It’s entirely possible for different people to attain different realities.

Just don’t be upside when the conventional life turns out exactly how you envisioned it to be.

John Anyasor is a blogger at HiLife2B. There he gives advice on personal development, inspiration, and motivation. A second year undergrad, he seeks to one day break the cycle of entering the dreaded 9-5 to achieve the life he wants, while inspiring others to join his movement.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/CJAnyasor
Website: http://hilife2b.com/blog

“How dare you?

How can you squander even one more day not taking advantage of the greatest shifts of our generation? How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable?” – Seth Godin

One day you wake up. POP! A great idea for something BIG is born.You tell everyone who you know your MASSIVE brain child. You’re SO certain everyone is behind you.

And then you realize that you were GRAVELY mistaken. First the “FACTS” are presented in front of you. They try and ask you what brought about this preposterous idea. “What are you, an idiot?” they tell you.

Then, they single you out, an attempt to show you that you are the ONLY one who has thoughts like this.

“No one’s going to buy into your idea. Why are you even trying? Do something that EVERYBODY knows will be profitable.”

Finally, they come and discover the remains of you and your idea. Bloodied and beaten from criticism, you rise from the dirt to look them in their eyes, searching for some sort of establishment of faith in you.

“How’s the idea going?” they mockingly ask you. With nothing to show for it, you oblige your defeat. Maybe they were always right, you begin to wonder…

Congratulations, my sad, unfortunate friend. YOU are discouraged. THEY have beaten you. THEY have accomplished THEIR goal.

But what about you? What about YOUR DREAM? Didn’t you want to see YOUR BRAINCHILD grow into something stronger? Didn’t YOU want to see it stand on its own two feet?

I understand that there were MANY against YOU, that you seemed to be alone on your quest to make YOUR DREAMS REAL.

Well, I’m here to tell you something. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

You! Yes, you. Tell me your dream. Why are you listening to the unremarkable, ambiguous THEY, while the truly REMARKABLE leaders and AMAZING creators tell you to fight back and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

Do you think they are lying to you? Do you think they would just put a dream in your face and dash it all away?

Why do you trust the people around you that say you’ll fail anymore than the people who are far above ALL of you and believe that you can succeed?

Here’s something that your friends and family WON’T TELL YOU.

The only reason they think you’ll fail, is the because the tools aren’t readily available. There is no school that teaches you how to be a millionaire rock star, or how to be an A-List celebrity.

But do you want to be a doctor? Simple. Just go to the nearest education system, enroll as a child and remain their for about 12 years or so, and you’ll be well on your way to become the doctor you seek.

They tell you you’ll fail, because it requires you to stand out and be different. Going after your dreams requires you to reject everything that you ever thought was real or fake. It requires you to blaze your own trail and TEACH YOURSELF instead of having an instructors hold your hand and teach you the simple basics.

Achieving your dreams requires you to BE REMARKABLE. That is something very few people in the education system can claim. Remarkable for them means being a tenured professor at a prestigious university. Being remarkable as ANYTHING that requires you to get a degree means being in that field for a REALLY LONG TIME.

Now, mind you, I’m not saying that you don’t have to work hard to be remarkable…because you do. It takes a REALLY LONG TIME.

But nowhere NEAR 12 years at all.

I say this, not because I’m angry at you, the criticizers, or ANYONE in particular. But it is because I am inspired. I feel more powerful than ever right now, in this generation I’ve been born into. I feel that I can take on the world.

But I also feel Dissatisfied. Dissatisfied that, as I speak here on this platform, people’s dreams are being dashed. People’s hopes are being destroyed. People’s lives are becoming routine. They are counting themselves out before they’ve even gotten a running start.

This is not fair.

Why should you have to yield to ideologies that you don’t agree with? Why should you sacrifice your passions for the confirmation of another’s close-minded beliefs?

“You will fail.” Utter bullcrap.

If you work hard every single day, give away value before asking for it, connect with people instead of throwing ads at them, learn something new about your passion all the time…

There isn’t a SINGLE DOUBT in my mind that you’ll succeed.

Why am I telling you this? Because I AM REMARKABLE. And so can you.

John Anyasor is a blogger at HiLife2B. There he gives advice on personal development, inspiration, and motivation. A second year undergrad, he seeks to one day break the cycle of entering the dreaded 9-5 to achieve the life he wants, while inspiring others to join his movement.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/CJAnyasor
Website: http://hilife2b.com/blog