The idea of being happy seems so simple and yet people struggle, too often, with keeping this mentality continuous in their lives. This is not to say that we all don’t get the blues or sometimes hit a patch of trouble, but getting back to that state of mind seems like an upward climb on a day-to-day basis. Society has made a killing on our misery and erratic state of mind; whether it is the countless motivational seminars, the self-help books, or even the #1 Billboard Hit that tells you to be happy.
We have been prescribed to do, say, feel, and even visualize things for the sole purpose of filling up that happiness meter that seems to constantly run on empty. Most of these magical cures do a lot more damage than good. The idea that one single action or a single declaration of happiness will keep us on the straight and narrow is as bad as a sales pitch from a pyramid scheme investor who “earned” $100,000 dollars from working at home selling scouring pads. It doesn’t make sense, but it still entices us. These delusions don’t work for our long term happiness.
The tricks of the trade are just that; tricks. Don’t be persuaded to attempt any of the following.
“Treating” yourself will make you happy.
One of the most preached and practiced ideas to fixing the blues. In theory, it make absolute sense, but the way we seem to practice it foils our end goal. The type of treat is what makes this piece of advice bad for us. The type of treat that is being inferred are ones that are good for us such as a long walk in the park, reading a book, going swimming, working out or going on an “adventure.” We tend to make the term “treat” synonymous with indulging in a guilty pleasure. The repercussions of this way of thinking leads to future feelings of guilt, loss of self, or just makes us sulk even more. Don’t look to the world for your happiness, look within.
When treating ourselves, we seem to revert to looking for physical things that do nothing for our overall well-being: a new outfit, bumming around, one more cigarette, a drink, a pint of ice cream, or an expensive entrée. The loss of self control, initially, seems uplifting, but will it make you feel better in the long run? The tiny buzz you get from that moment of ecstasy deepens the mood you were in, because your life has been more disordered than before. So stop giving yourself to things that create a mess of your life, and start bringing a sense of peace and order that was missing. Tighten up those loose screws, and when you are hit by a hard blow in life make sure they stay tightened. Stop skipping out on the gym, stop eating “fake” foods, and don’t skip out on responsibility.
The next time you feel yourself needing to justify a treat or giving way to mindless behaviors, ask yourself: Will it do more harm than good? Will it cause more disorder in my life?
“Outer order brings inner calm.” –Gretchen Rubin
A life of leisure will make you happy
We all have fantasies and dreams of endless vacations, extravagant parties, and endless indulgence. This idea of enjoying life by not doing anything is a fool’s dream. This life quickly turns into a life of boredom and monotony. Harvard Psychology Professor Tal Ben-Shahar came to the understanding that in spite of all your freedoms, you cannot be happy without work. Not necessarily a 9 to 5 job, but something that gives you purpose, work that make you productive while enjoying a fulfilling activity. If you are stuck in a rut, or seem to find yourself in a state of constant unhappiness, ask yourself these two questions: What makes me happy? Do I have a purpose in life?
Immerse yourself in an environment that brings out you inner happiness, and I’m not talking about rainbows, puppies, and candy. The dream of making so much money that you never have to make anymore will bring you face-to-face with the greatest challenge you’ve ever dealt with it: yourself. Seek something more concrete that will promote long term happiness and sustain you even in the hard times. If you have negativity around constantly, you can’t flourish. Discard it, and seek new refuge.
How do you define yourself? What do you want to achieve? Make goals in your life, both short-term and long-term. Regardless of how minute the goal might appear to be, relish in the achievements of them. Most people fall because they don’t set short term goals alongside their long term ones. Whether it is doing 5 extra push-ups, keeping up with your laundry, reconnecting with old friends, befriending a random person, or even smiling more often. All these goals push you towards a better you. Short term goals give a person the boost they need to reach towards their next long term goal.
While enjoyable for the moment, a life without of leisure and materialism never quenches the desire for true life-long happiness. Understand your strengths and weakness, and make them play to your benefit. A person who isn’t willing to look inwardly as to who they truly are is living blind. The fantasy of treating yourself to your heart’s desire and living in leisure is just that; fantasy.
Good post. I totally agree. I would also add, the next time you splurge, ask yourself “will I feel guilty about this later on?” That's the falsity of retail “therapy”…because retail therapy is followed buyer's remorse.