Twenties Life

You see a gorgeous woman.  Then you look away.  But in the back of your mind something is telling you that you need to take another look.  There is something pulling your attention away from whatever it is you’re doing and magnetically bringing your gaze back to her. That incredible force is Sex Appeal.

They say some are just born with it.  Some guys are born with muscular bodies and ruggedly good looks.  Some women just blossom into curvy, sexual creatures.  Others find that they just weren’t as lucky.  They weren’t dealt the cards of incredible sex appeal.  To those people,  I’m here to tell you that sex appeal isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you develop.  I’m going to teach you some of the best ways to increase your sex appeal, and make you the one that draws sexy stares the opposite sex and envy from your peers.

Hobbies

She loves that he’s the lead singer of a rockband.  He can’t take his eyes off of her when she dances.  Two simple hobbies, singing and dancing, that create that instant force of attraction.  Hobbies are probably the easiest way to increase your sex appeal.  Become really great at any of your hobbies and you’ll find someone who thinks it’s hot.  I talked yesterday about the girl who was really awesome at knitting.  It’s knitting for gosh sake, and yet I still thought it was pretty awesome.  That’s the power of hobbies.

Physique

The first thing we notice about the opposite sex is physique.  You know it and I know it.  If a fella is 26 and already has the makings of a beer belly, ladies knock him down a few points.  This may not be a conscious decision, but facts are facts.  If a woman has a small waist and nice legs, guys will find her more attractive than her less toned friend.  We are biologically inclined to find healthy people more sexually attractive, as a way of ensuring procreation among the human race.  Sorry for going all scientific on you, but the facts don’t lie.  Get in shape and you’ll get more interest from the opposite sex.

Mind & Personality

Though this isn’t as instant as physique, it is important enough to give attention to.  Men and women who ride through life on their good looks never develop a really beautiful mind and personality.  They focus so strongly on their looks that they give no attention to what’s behind the smile.  Work on yourself and he’ll surely notice.  Build that self-esteem and she won’t be able to help herself around you.

Imperfect Perfection

Imperfection is human.  So many people strive to be the perfect image of beauty in their head.  This isn’t real.  The image isn’t real, and the idea that you could ever replicate it isn’t real.  Instead of trying to be the next Barbie (or ken) doll, focus on the good things you already have.  If you have a great smile, let it loose as often as possible.  If you have great legs, don’t lock em up in wide leg jeans.  Use your natural talents and create your own imperfect perfection.

Clothing

I spent a good part of my younger life wearing whatever was clean, picking up wrinkly shirts off the ground and just going with um.  Needless to say, I didn’t get a lot of female attention in my younger years.  Amazingly though, as soon as I started paying even the slightest amount of attention to what I put on, I started receiving attention from the women around me.  It’s not that I was rocking the latest trends or the high-end brands, because I surely wasn’t.  It was that I cared enough to want to look good, and it showed in other aspects of my life as well.  Neither guys nor girls can resist the one who is constantly working to improve themselves.  It’s just damn sexy.

Personal Hygiene

I’m going to be really blunt here, because there’s no easy way to say this… Some of you people are smelly.  And it’s not just guys.  Girls locker rooms aren’t so pleasant either.  It’s time to invest in an arsenal of personal toiletries and become acquainted with using them.  I’ll ease you into it:  start with a good antiperspirant, a sweet-scented cologne or perfume (learn about them here), a toothbrush and paste, mouth wash, chap stick,  hand soap, a good moisturizer, body wash, face wash, shampoo and conditioner, any basic hair products, and a body spray.  Learn to use them and use them often.  A trip to your drugstore might cost you $50-75, but the difference is astounding.

Confidence

Some people just have a confident aura to them.  I’m not one of them.  I work on my confidence all the time.  It’s not that I lack confidence, but that I want to radiate confidence.  I don’t want to just feel confident, I want you to be able to see it, even smell it on me.  So I learn to talk the talk and walk the walk.  Language, including body language, is the best way to show confidence.  Take note of the confident people you know.  They don’t have to tell you they’re confident, it’s in the details.  Learn some of those details and emulate them till it becomes second nature.  Let the outside shine with the light that you feel on the inside.

Manners

You might find it surprising, but this one isn’t just for the guys.  Somewhere in the last 20 years or so, mothers apparently decided that since their boys lacked manners, it was oppressive to make their girls learn them, and here we are now, in a manner-free world.  Let me just say one thing: belching is gross, from a girl or a guy.  If you aren’t keen on etiquette I suggest you head to your local bookstore and find a basic how-to book on etiquette.  It will help you in every aspect of your life, I guarantee it.

Dance Moves

I once saw the goofiest dude on earth pick up a chick with his dance moves.  And the craziest part was that his dance moves weren’t even good.  He did some goofy-ass dance that looked like he was a train, and somehow she liked it.  Ever since that day I’ve realized the power of the dance move, and you should too.  Hit up YouTube and learn a move or two.  It’s easy to pick up simple dances and trendy ones as well.  Check out this “How To Moonwalk” below.

Animalisticness

It might be a made up word, but that makes it no less real.  Guys and girls both find themselves insanely attracted to the animal side of the opposite sex.  That’s why girls like to see a guy sweat, or lift heavy things, and guys are turned on by the smell of a girl’s hair, or the curve of her hips.  These things bring out the carnal desires in all of us.  They stimulate our animalistic senses of attraction, and create an attraction that is unlike anything else.  Use this to your advantage.  Guys, think twice before shaving off that beard, or even the 5 o’clock shadow.  The ability to grow facial hair comes during puberty when your levels of testosterone increase.  And ladies, go light on the perfume, and let your nails grow.  Too much perfume will cover up the natural pheromones that draw male attention, and there is something about a manicured set of nails that reminds guys of those nails digging into his back in the throws of his sheets.  Don’t ask me why we think of these things, we just do…

Define Your Sexy

Nobody gets to the destination of their road-trip without a goal in mind.  In the same sense, how can you increase your sexiness if you don’t even know what it consists of.  You may feel like a nerd for doing this, but trust me and try it;  Take out a notepad and paper.  Think about the people of the same sex as you who get a lot of attention.  What is it about them?  Why do people like them?  What do you like about them?  Define what sexy is to you, and then create your road map.  Assess exactly where you are on the road to sexy and start trucking along.  It’s crazy how people who aim to succeed often do and people who wonder aimlessly often end up where they started, huh?

Pay close attention to the ideas I’ve outlined here.  Understand why they are sexy.  Understand why people would find these things attractive.  Then work on yourself.  Nobody is saying you need a complete overhaul, but if you’ve had that guitar collecting dust in the corner for years now, why not pick it up and learn a song or two?  It you have luscious thick hair, why waste it wearing a bun or ponytail all the time?  Start small and do the little things that increase your sex appeal and before you know it, you’ll be getting attention from everyone around you, including people twice your age and half it…  You’ll be beating them off with a stick.  probably.

This is the second in the series “Interview This.”  To read part 1 click here.

Finished shopping yet? Stopped twirling in your living room? You have that perfect outfit that will make you look smashing and sophisticated at the same time? Whoa, whoa, whoa, big stuff, you are not done yet. Now that you have “The Look” in person, it is time to focus on your look on a piece of paper. No, I am not talking about a Glamour Shot of you. I am talking about your resumé! I am sure the last time you did one of these was during some practice writing class in high school or for entrance to college and maybe even graduate school. However, resumes for a job are different, because it a summary of you and your qualifications and has to be powerful to leave a lasting impression. Sure you submitted one during your application process, but guess what, you should and must bring it to the interview. So here are the tips for this very important document:

Your Resume

1. Buy resume paper. Do not be cheap, and make sure the color matches the resumé envelope.
2. Keep it simple. Depending on the job will depend on the order that you put things on your resume and what you put on your resume. You do not need things on there from high school. An example of resume organization is: Professional Experience, Organizations and Professional Groups, Education, and then Volunteer Experience.
3. If you have professional experience, make sure it is relevant to the position you are seeking. Volunteer experience is always a plus to put on a resume.
4. The best resumes are one page, one inch margins, and not smaller than 10 point font. This allows potential employers to quickly scan your resumé and not have to flip through pages of stuff that do not really matter. Plus, chances are that they will likely glance through a one page resume rather than a lengthy one.
5. Have a regular font. Nothing fancy and nothing childish.
6. Do not show up with a bent resume. The stores have resume envelopes or get a black folder. If you show up with a bent or folded resume it speaks volumes as to the type of person you are, which is not a good thing.
7. Bring more than one copy of the resumé to your interview. You do not know who you will meet or who you will need to leave copies with. I always bring one for myself as well so I can follow along as they read my resumé in front of them.
8. When typing your resumé make sure it looks clean and organized. Use bullet points and tabs to organize different dates and events. Bold words that you want to stand out.
9. Do not use just acronyms. Spell out everything and make sure you use the proper name. Do not assume that people know what things stand for.
10. Proofread over and over again! So important. Simple mistakes can cost you a lot of points with an employer. Sloppy spelling and mistyping and formatting mistakes could show that you are lazy, lackadaisical, and do not care about your presentation or your work.
11. As a side note: Cover Letters – usually if you are applying for a job, you would have submitted your resumé and or cover letter. For cover letters, they should not be longer than one page. They should also not be a regurgitation of your resumé. This is your chance to tell your potential employer about you and talk more specifically about yourself than what you could reveal on your resume. Three paragraphs usually work.

So what are you waiting for? Get to typing. Print many copies. Do not forget the matching paper! Stay tuned for my last installment on Interview This.

The boy short is gaining popularity in the lingerie world, offering both comfort and sex appeal.

There’s a reason top lingerie boutiques are seeing thong sales drop as fast as the waistlines of jeans did when thongs were first made popular: everyone is tired of witnessing the endless parade of visible thong strings that pop out of the hipster jeans of Britney Spears-wannabes.

The look is dated, trashy, and dead.

Of course, there are the practical reasons for owning thongs, mainly to prevent visible panty lines when wearing skirts and formal wear. However, with panties made of Tactel now available (Check out Jockey No Panty Line Underwear), you can finally get rid of the permanent wedgie without trading it in for panty lines.

What has ascended to the throne of sexiest panties? Boy shorts that leave a little more to the imagination but still accentuate the best part of your bum are gaining popularity fast. That curve that peeks out from under the fabric is just enough to drive guys crazy while still being comfortable enough to wear everyday.

Some pointers to keep in mind before you head to your favorite lingerie spot:

• If you’re sporting a small bum, a pair of boy shorts that end at the mid-part of your cheeks will help your backside appear fuller.
• If you’ve got a little extra love toward the top—particularly the muffin top or love handle kind—a wide band at the waistline will help you appear slimmer. Also, try to find fabrics that will rest easily on your hips without cutting into them. Victoria’s Secret has some lace boy shorts out now that, I swear, are the most comfortable and sexiest underwear I’ve ever owned (New Lacy Hip Hugger).

• If you insist on staying loyal to the thong, stay away from the string thong and instead opt for her classier cousin: the wide waistband lace thong.

…and don’t forget: if your pants are on, no one should see your panties! This isn’t 1999, and Sisqo’s “Thong Song” is both a faux pas in the club scene and as your personal anthem.

Over the years I’ve seen many guys try their game on pretty girls.  Some of these guys did well, but many did not so well.  Most of us could stand to learn a thing or two about how to attract a woman like a gentleman.  We’ll go over the do’s and dont’s of flirting.  Guys, get a pen and paper, here come some grade A flirting tips.

But before we get into all of that, you need to realize one thing.  Learning how to flirt with a beautiful woman isn’t about having a bag of tricks or a script.  It isn’t about learning the art of seduction or manipulation, or anything else sleazy like that.  This isn’t a David DeAngelo type of guide to flirting.  Flirting like a Gentleman is about engaging a woman on an intellectual level, building a rapport with her, and chancing that at the end of the flirting she has become as interested in you as you are in her.

Making friends wasn’t terribly difficult in kindergarten, and if you treat this woman the same way your mother taught you to treat girls in kindergarten, you’ll do just fine.  so RELAX, and realize that you’re you, she’s her, and that’s all that either of you needs to be.

Humor

Humor is a great way to engage a woman.  You know the old saying, “a woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh.”  When first meeting a woman though, it’s important to keep the humor clean and fun.  It’s ok to tease, but make sure you aren’t offending anyone or teasing too much, as some girls are more sensitive than others.

Confidence vs. Arrogance

Women love a confident man.  But most can’t stand an arrogant one.  Whether you are a cheerfully confident guy or you’re just acting, make sure to steer clear of the arrogant kind of confidence.  Remember, just because you feel good about yourself doesn’t mean you’re better than anyone else.

Compliment, Compliment, Compliment

I love compliments, you love compliments, and I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say that she will too.  Compliments are a nice, pressure-free way to build rapport with a woman.  Obviously the content of your compliment matters, though.  “You have really pretty hair,” or “I love that jacket on you” are both good compliments, but “Your body is bangin in that dress” might not be.  Use your better judgement on this one.

Hold a Gaze

It has been scientifically proven that women find a greater psychological attraction to men who can hold their gaze.  Understand the difference between a gaze and a stare though, and don’t let things get weird.  If she looks into your eyes, hold contact for just 1 second longer than you might feel comfortable doing.  It’s a great way to get better at it.  Pretty soon women that you have no intent on pursuing will find themselves wildly attracted to you.  Well, maybe.

Chivalry

What would “A Gentleman’s Guide” be without chivalry.  To some it’s dead, to others there is no relationship without it.  As a gentleman you always remain chivalrous.  This means you open doors for her, pull out her chair, offer your coat, and even walk arm in arm if she would like.  You allow her up the stairs first (in case she falls, so you can save her) and you walk before her down the stairs, unless she insists, in which case you can walk together.  If you asked her out, you pay for the entire night.  If she asked you out, you offer to pay, but allow her the final decision.  If she insists on paying, you allow her to and offer to take her out again (on your dime of course).  A gentleman is not a gentleman without chivalry.

Excitement

Excitement is the driving force behind “the spark.”  It can make or break her opinion of you.  Some guys get away with being jerks and losers just because they are exciting as hell.  You want to be that exciting guy.  You want that girl to think you are straight out of an action movie, you’re so exciting.  This doesn’t mean you have to ride a motorcycle and wear a leather jacket (although those wouldn’t hurt), but you should be enthusiastic about your interests.  I once met a girl who was so enthusiastic about her knitting (that’s right, knitting, like a grandma) that I found it curiously attractive.

Also, you should show your excitement for the things that she’s into.  You obviously don’t want to be jumping out of your chair with excitement, but you want her to know that you think her interests are cool.

Let Her Talk

We all love to talk about ourselves, and women are no exclusion.  Once when out with a woman, I let her talk pretty much the entire night, and only said a few (very cool) things about myself.  By the end of the night she was all talked out, but she had apparently had a great time, and found me to be very interesting.  “How is that?” I asked.  “I dunno, there’s just something about you that is intriguing.” she answered.  You know what it was?  It was that she felt good about our date because she talked about herself (the person she loves most) the whole time and didn’t find out much about me.  I was a good listener, which she liked, and she didn’t know much about me, which made me mysterious.  It’s a potent combination that women go crazy over.

Stay Positive

I learned a hard lesson once, and it’s not something that I’m ready to share.  But let’s just say this: No matter how well things are going, one emotionally negative thing said could ruin everything.  Dating is a fickle being, and it can swing from good to bad in .02 seconds flat.  So as a general rule, keep your first dates positive, no matter what.  Don’t talk about your dead grandmother, your dead-end job (unless it’s with humor), your lack of satisfaction in life, or anything else that might change the mood from something positive to something negative.

Keep The Mystery Alive

Ah the mystery again.  It was so important that I decided to talk about it again.  No matter how awesome you are, if a woman ends the night feeling like she knows everything about you, there is much less motivation for a second date.  What’s new to find out?  What exciting things could you possibly say?  She’s heard all she needs to, and she’s moving on.  So while it’s great to share things about yourself, keep the mystery alive, and keep a couple of great stories in the holster for other dates.

Be The Man

Let her wear the makeup and skirts, and you wear the pants and (insert manly thing here…).  A woman may appreciate a sensitive guy, but not an overly sensitive one.  Don’t hide your manliness, let it shine.  Women like men, not boys, not metrosexuals, and not girls.  They want a man to be a man.  So do just that.  Be the man she’s looking for.

Physical Contact

Used sparingly, physical contact can really create a bond between the two of you.  A subtle touch of the wrist, knee, or even a pat on the arm or shoulder can really spark the fire.  Don’t be the guy who is all over girls, nobody likes that dude.  But when appropriate, practice the art of subtle communication through physical contact.

Create the Connection

Inside jokes, nicknames, and stories including the two of you… 3 things you should have in common with her by the end of the first few dates if you’re playing your cards right.  A relationship of substance can be organically enhanced by simple things like creating inside jokes or building stories together.   It gives her a sense that you two have a relationship already, even if you don’t.

Don’t Hide The Nerd Inside

Sure, you could hide the fact that you’re a level 78 Mage on World of Warcraft (I don’t actually know if there is a mage or whatever), but sooner or later she’s going to find all the action figures and magic cards.  Plus, if it’s something you really like, why be ashamed?  Is she really worth being someone else for?

Be yourself, as nerdy as you may be.  If she’s the right fit, she’ll find it geeky endearing (I just made that up, but it works), or at the very least amusing.  Oh and trust me, she has an inner nerd too.  They always do.

Here are a few tiny tips to help you on your way

1. Share a secret – builds rapport and helps solidify a connection
2. Ask Questions - shows interest and allows you to learn about her
3. Avoid talking about past relationships – nobody ever wants to hear this on a first date
4. Give her all of your attention – don’t answer your phone, look at other girls, etc.
5. Don’t flirt with others in front of her - self-explanatory
6. Pay attention to language - Don’t curse if she doesn’t…
7. Don’t talk about sex - it adds pressure. Save that talk for later.

So there you have it.  The Gentleman’s Guide to Flirting.  Of course no guide would be complete without a few other gentleman (and ladies) chiming in.  So, let’s hear it.  What would be your #1 tip for a gentleman in training?  Leave your comments below and help a fella out!

As many of you may or may not already know, I’m 19. Already a man, but not yet a full adult. Young, but almost two decades old. To turn twenty is a big deal, more so than 21, I think, for these reasons:

- You no longer have the suffix “teen” to come with your age

- Saying you live with your parents becomes more embarrassing to say

- Everyone expects you to have a good idea of where you’re heading

- Your life becomes YOUR responsibility

It seemed like just yesterday I was playing with my toy dinosaurs and watching Saturday morning cartoons. Now, it seems more probable that I could be filling out forms and filing paperwork for an unpaid internship or shadowing a professional for some job that I might seem to like.

In my eyes, living as a twenty-year-old involves being one of two types. There’s the more mature twenty-something who is plotting his/her course with resumes, internships, and job shadowing, constant volunteer work and community service. And there’s the more care-free twenty-something who sees a bright future involving drinking, partying, couch-hopping, road-tripping, and outlawing. Do either of these look appealing to you?

To be honest, neither of these seem like viable options to me. It’s not my style to be a pencil pusher. I study hard as much as I play, but becoming the corporate employee isn’t me. On the other hand, I’m not one to delude myself into thinking there’s such a thing as a “care-free life of partying”. All play and no work makes Jack a fool. Life was meant to be enjoyed, but not to the extent that I’d spend every other waking moment of it having party-type fun.

When I reach twenty, I want to be more independent. I want to be more of an artist, a writer, a builder, a painter, a CREATOR. I want to be more of a leader: an active, innovative follower instead of a mindless one. I want to be a stronger, better, more powerful, more unshakable me.

At the age of twenty, you are no longer the helpless kid you once were. You have power. You can change things. You can spearhead movements. Make a difference. The teenager inside of you is dead. You are now a man. You are now a woman. You are an adult in this world.

Enough with the gossip and obsessions with celebrity drama. Enough with “trying to fit in”. Enough with blaming your parents for your horrible life. Enough with your petty squabbles. Grab hold of your future and command its path. Fear not of your adolescent insecurities: high school is over. Give heed to the words of your more successful elders.

And lay waste to the obstacles standing in your path. You aren’t too young. You are a twenty year old.

photo credit: mamnaimie

As it is close to becoming spring, many of us in our twenties are graduating from undergrad, graduating from graduate school, or have the winter time blues and seeking change. A great way to get a fresh start is by getting a job! (Hey contribute to social security so I have money when I retire) So I am sure that many of you read articles or listen to career services people tell you what to do and what not to do in interviews. I bet also, that many of you take the advice lightly and play some iPhone application rather than listen to what is going on because hey it’s March and mommy and daddy are still paying or the student loans do not have to be repaid in a few months.

Wake up! You need to get a job and you need to stand on your feet become independent and do it now. The economy does not offer the greatest job market now and it is taking longer to find a job and there is plenty of competition out there. You do not want to find yourself after graduation spending weeks or maybe months looking for a job and you now have no money, your shoes have holes, and you get excited that Ramen is on sale for 10¢ a pack.

So let’s say perchance you have mustered up the courage to fill out the pages and pages of a job application and somehow someone thought you were so qualified and excellent that you hear:

Telephone rings

“Hi, can I speak with Job Applicant?”

“Oh yes, that’s me!”

“Well we think you might be a great candidate for this position and we would like to interview you.”

“Really!? Oh my god! Excuse me, I mean, that sounds good.”

“How does Tuesday at noon sound?”

Pretty crappy because I wanted to sleep till noon and then meet my friends for lunch and have martinis after.

“Oh yeah Tuesday will work, perfect!”

So you run and go kiss your mom and pray to god and thank him for all the miracles he sent you and that you will never do anything bad again if you get this job and you twirl around and then…crap, a real interview.

How to prepare? What to do? Well, what I tell you won’t guarantee you a job, but it will make you stand out, and that is what is most important. So part one:

The Look

(If you are feeling extra special you should jam out to Roxette, “The Look”)

1. You need a suit. No a pimp suit, not your homecoming outfit, and not a tux. Preferably a black or dark navy blue suit. Girls if you do get a skirt suit, the skirt needs to come to your knees. No one wants to see what you are working with, no one.
2. You wear either a white button shirt or a blue button shirt. No pinks or reds or anything that was pulled out of a fashion magazine.
3. Guys, wear a tie, power colors work and nothing funky. Stick to reds and blues. If it has a design, make sure it is appropriate. No skulls, sports teams, or hula girls on your ties.
4. Girls, accessorize, but not too much. Stud earrings work, like pearls etc. No giant hoops. A nice necklace to match, but nothing too big and gaudy.
5. Clean shoes, polish it. Girls peep toes are okay, closed toed preferred, but nothing too chunky or with hooker heals. Three inches is pushing the limit.
6. Do your hair and brush your teeth. Please. Guys style your hair and do not do the roll out of bed look. Get your hair cut and your sideburns reasonable length. No Elvis chops. Girls pulled back hair is the best; get it out of your face and use hairspray if you need to pull back any short layers. Buns are not needed. If your hair is short, still style it to where it is not in your face. Make it look presentable.
7. Make up. Guys wear chapstick if your lips are dry. No one likes to look at crusty lips. Girls keep your make up simple. Now is not the time for fake eyelashes and smoky eye. Glitter is a no.
8. Manicure. Guys make sure your nails are well cut and groomed. Same with women. No one wants to see neither uncut mismatched nails nor dirt underneath.
9. Socks and pantyhose. Guys your socks must match your suit. For black suites, dark socks but not navy or tan. Navy suits, navy or dark brown socks work. For girls, you have to wear pantyhose, even if you wear a pantsuit. Chose a color that is close to your skin color. This is why peep toed shoes are not preferred because pantyhose are a must.
10. Clothes must fit. Make sure your suit fits you and if not alter it! Hem the pants, the jacket, and tailor it so that it fits you well.

The better you look, the better you will feel, and the better you will appear in front of the interviewer. If you have money trouble in finding a suit, check out places like Macy’s who have suits for their Everyday Values program.  Stay tuned for more tips for your interview! Okay go back to twirling around.

Check out part two of Interview This here!