This is part two of the series “Great Tips For Making a Good Impression.” To read part one click here. Otherwise, let’s continue.
Individuality
In high school and even college, many of us found ourselves doing what our friends did, as a way of assimilating and conforming. But out in the real world, you’ll find that people are more attracted to uniqueness and individuality. It’s the different, slightly quirky things about you that will be most memorable to others. So rather than down playing them, or being embarrassed, embrace your self and all aspects of your individuality. I ride a motorcycle, many people think is awesome, but I also love video games, which by observation isn’t necessarily impressive to the opposite sex… If you are confident in your individuality and uniqueness, people will be drawn to you.
When Speaking – Slow It Down
One thing I’ve noticed is that when people are nervous they speed everything up. It’s understandable, when you consider that when people are nervous it’s because they consider something really important, and that is sometimes fearful. When we are nervous, scared, or otherwise aroused, our brains start working faster. Our thoughts process at much higher rates, trying to assess the situation. Because of this, we sometimes speed up our speech, stutter, stammer, or communicate in another unclear manner. To battle the nervousness, just take a deep breath and make a conscious effort to slow down. Think about the words as you say them. Pronounce clearly and slowly. Once you slow things down physically, you’ll train your brain to slow down to an understandable speed and you’ll be well on your way to being more comfortable meeting new people.
Small Talk
I still struggle with small talk all the time. If you ask anyone who knows me, they’ll tell you that I’m pretty outgoing, and some may even call me an extrovert. But the truth of the matter is that I’m pretty reserved and introverted; I just work really hard to be a good communicator and build strong relationships. Small talk may come easy, or may be really difficult. But it’s a great tool to have, and one that as you become better will become your main weapon in networking.
I keep it simple. I observe a person for a few moments, find something worthy of talking about, and then go in for the kill. For example, let’s say I see a woman that I know I want to meet, for whatever reason (not romantic, though it would still work). I notice her watch (I’m into watches…). So I approach her, introduce myself, and ask her about her watch. You’ll quickly realize that people love to talk about themselves, so once you’ve got an entrance they will lead the way. As long as you can fill in the gaps and avoid long bouts of silence, you’re golden.
Act Like You’re Already Best Friends
If I really want to move things along, I skip small talk all together. This will take some practice, but it works magnificently. All you have to do is act like the person is already your best friend. Instead of the usual “Hi, I’m Ibrahim Husain, nice to meet you…”, skip that and try a greeting you would use on a best friend. Something like “There he is, it’s great to see you buddy!” Even if they are caught off guard, you can always step back with something like “no we haven’t met, but I’ve heard so many great things about you that I feel like I’ve known you forever.” People love to be loved, and this will smoothly push you right past formalities and into a more intimate friendship.
Make Them The Focus
I’ve said this already, but people love themselves. They love to talk about themselves. They love to hear about themselves. They love to think about themselves. The person you are trying to meet is the greatest asset you have in creating a relationship with them. Make them the focus. Talk about them; vacations, dress, hobbies, work, interests, family, anything really, as long as it’s about them. And always be ready for the “what about you?” question, as most people will ask this once they’ve had enough about talking about themselves, or feel like they are monopolizing the conversation. Talk a little about yourself then switch it back to them again.
You can do this for an entire night, say very little about yourself, and at the end of the night that person will leave feeling like you are a really great person. They won’t know why they like you so much, but they’ll like you alright. Why? Because you showed an interest in them, and to them that makes you interesting…
Remember Names
In case you haven’t yet realized the power of a name, it’s time you learn. A name is everything. It’s a tool of instant relationship building. When speaking to someone you’ve met for the first time, be sure to use their name in conversation. Things like “You know Mike, you’re absolutely right,” or “Great point, Jill, although I’d still venture to disagree,” make a big impression as opposed to just “Your absolutely right,” or “great point, although I’d still venture to disagree.” Using a person’s name signifies some sort of close relationship, and will build just that. So when you first meet someone, make it a conscious goal to use their name in conversation two or three times.
Be Careful With Humor (or skip it all together)
I’ve always considered myself a funny person. I make a lot of jokes, at my own expense and otherwise. But many jokes get into things that just aren’t appropriate, and you never know who’s on the other end of the joke your telling. For example, I made a slight at the expense of Jewish people once, only to find out later that evening that a close friend of mine is from a Jewish Family. It was probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done, socially, and I still feel bad about it.
The point is that you never know who’s around and what people may take offense to, and because of that you should really limit your humor around new people. As a rule of thumb, if you wouldn’t make the joke in front of your grandma or boss, don’t do it with someone new.
Small Compliments
Small compliments go a long way. They are the simplest forms of flattery, and they can be used to start long lasting relationships. If the guy has a nice tie, tell him. If the woman’s hair looks nice, let her know. Most people love to be complimented and will find you to be charming when you compliment them. Just remember to keep it simple and appropriate. “You have an awesome body!” or “those are some really big arms you’ve got there!” are objectifying statements (though they may be complimentary) and just aren’t appropriate for someone you’ve just met.
Talk a Little, Listen a Lot
Finally, the last of these great tips. This one is really simple: Talk very little and listen very much. People who talk too much often find feet in their mouths, and people who are good listeners often find themselves with many friends. It’s just hard to find a good listener these days, and everyone loves to talk. You’re listening without interjection will be very attractive to the person you’ve just met, and they’ll just find you more pleasant to talk to and be around.
These tips are not a complete list, and may not always guarantee success in the world of networking. Generally, though, they will give you a great approach to one of the greatest skills you could ever afford to learn, how to quickly and effectively make friends and create lasting relationships. If you spend some time understanding and practicing each tip, you’ll find yourself in a great position to start making more friends and having people drawn to you in a manner that you’ve never experienced before.
Guess Who:
