So you aren’t getting the girl, huh? Or maybe you just need a few tips to help ensure you aren’t shooting yourself in the foot when it comes to the ladies? Either way, there are a few key things that if messed up can completely ruin your chances at picking up chicks. And chances are you are doing at least one or two of these. Knowing what they are can help ensure you don’t continue to ruin it before you even had a chance. Read on.
- You confuse conceitedness with confidence. Girls have a keen sense of smell, especially when it comes to you bullshitting them. If you don’t naturally burst with confidence, that’s fine. But don’t overcompensate into the area of arrogance. No girl above the age of 16 mistakes the two.
- You consider chivalry dead, and have no intention of resurrecting it. I’m not saying you have to buy flowers every time you take a girl out, but you always open the door for her and wait for her to sit first. Some of these things are so simple, and yet girls find them so thoughtful. Are you so awesome that you need not be thoughtful? If you think so, check number 1 again.
- You talk much and listen little. Here are the facts: everyone likes to talk about themselves. We like ourselves so much that when other people show interest in us, we find them attractive. Want to bank on this? Listen more and talk less. You’ll be surprised to find that she can talk about herself all night, and at the end of the night she thinks you are interesting!
- You don’t have your own life. Girls are attracted to guys who are busy, who do things, who have hobbies, and who generally have their own things going on. She wants you to meet her friends, but she definitely doesn’t want you hanging out with her every time she hangs out with her friends. Get a hobby, let her know you have your own things going on.
- Her friends aren’t into you. If you can win the friends, you can win the girl. They are the ones who have the influence, not you. Charm her friends, be sweet to them, open doors for them. They are your best marketing tool for selling yourself to her.
- You are too serious. This one actually means a few things: one, you don’t make her laugh (“A woman appreciates a man who can make her laugh” -Genie from Aladdin); and two, you can’t be teased. A woman is attracted to a man with humor, and a man who can take a joke. If you can’t do either, that’s two checks on her list that you are missing.
- You try too hard. Some guys make the mistake of thinking that if they are the perfect boyfriend, they will get the girl. I made this mistake for years. The truth is girls want a normal guy. You know, one who makes mistakes, doesn’t always think of her, and may even be a jerk at times. A guy who tried to hard is none of those, and it shows. Every action is so deliberate. It’s kind of gross, and definitely not attractive. Just be real.
- You are too passive. Some women will make the first move. Most of those women aren’t the take home to mom kind. Women like a man who can take the action role because it shows that they have prowess. They find what they want and they take it. It’s a carnal instinct that drives women crazy.
- You aren’t impressed by her. You may be amazing, and she may initially find that she’s super into you. But a little further down the line, she might get the sense that you aren’t impressed by her, or that she doesn’t inspire you. There is nothing that will ruin a relationship faster than a woman feeling like she isn’t good enough (except maybe infidelity, but that’s for another day).
- You STARE at other women. I look at other women all the time, my girl knows it, and every guy in the world knows it too. It’s what we do. But some of you guys take it to a whole new level. There is nothing wrong with looking at women, but when it becomes a gross, provocative stare, as if you could see the girl naked, you are being disrespectful to the girl you are staring at, and more importantly to the girl you are with. Don’t want to give up looking at other girls? Become a ninja. Look fast, and look once. Anymore than that and you are bound to get yourself in trouble.
I’m sure there are plenty of other reasons why you aren’t getting the girl. But let’s be honest, I’m not perfect, so there is no way I could make you perfect. If you focus on fixing these problems, you’ll definitely have a better shot. After all, I’m sure you are a great guy. You just need to give the girl a chance to see that as well, without scaring her off with one of these strategies covered above.
So what do you do to improve your chances of winning over a member of the opposite (or same, if you’re into that) gender?
the reason that guy in the picture isnt gettin the girl in the picture is because he looks gay as hell
It's a bollywood movie, they all look like that.
2 is dead wrong; most young women aren't aware that waiting to sit down is even 'a thing', and a lot of guys go too far in insisting on 'chivalry' even when it is clearly not required or wanted. I once had a guy scold me for paying about half the total cost of our dozen or so dates, because it was “the man's job” in his opinion. He turned out to have lots of gender role issues — lots of insecurity about 'being a man' and the honest belief that women were completely fungible, with all the same hobbies, interests, personalities, etc. (This despite us meeting during our shared classes at university — basic computer science algorithms and linear algebra!) I now know that excessive chivalry is a major red flag. Every woman will have different preferences on this, but I guarantee that every woman also has a point where things start to get be too much. So you have two options here. One, if a certain amount of chivalry is important to you, go with it, and if it doesn't go over well, consider the date a bust and move on. So if equality is important to you, don't be chivalrous at all; this will filter out women who expect chivalry. If you're more traditional, be chivalrous and this will filter out more modern-minded women. Two, if you don't really care, start with a low level of chivalry and adjust it as you go. A good starting point (in most of North America) might be opening building (not car) doors and offering (but not insisting) to pick up the cheque. You want to be neutral enough that it shouldn't offend either group so much that they rule you out right away, and you can decide whether to be more/less chivalrous based on your date's reactions. (Yup, people are complicated, sorry!)
7 is mostly good but a little off. Nobody 'likes' a jerk, but realistically everyone is going to be a jerk sometimes, and if you're constantly on edge trying to avoid it, you'll seem very closed-off and awkward. Don't revel in it, though; you still have to be a grownup and apologize after like everyone else.
8 is just gross. Did you start writing this article in the 1950's? Look, some women enjoy making the first move, and some men hate it. Lots of men and women are neutral on the point. It has nothing to do with their value as people.
The rest look OK. Nice article!